...
I've always lived my life looking at other people and thinking, "At least I'm not going through that."
I mean, it did make me feel better that I wasn't spiraling down into darkness like the people that I was observing.
But as I was observing other people, I failed to notice that I too was spiraling down into my own darkness.
"At least" was the mask I used to hide my inevitable destruction.
"At least" made me feel a sense of false relief that I've come to depend on.
"Oh my goodness, that must be horrible.", I would say.
"At least it's not affecting me.", I would think.
This form of selfish thinking made me become selfish.
I would perk up at the sound of someone else's demise if it meant that I didn't have to worry about my own.
The racing thoughts in my head could finally be ignored if I got to look at someone else and think, "At least that's not me." as if I had the right to do so.
I had become a silent bully.
But hey, they are right when they say, "What comes around goes around."
Because...
The other day...
Someone looked at me and I heard them say say...
"At least that's not me."
