My No Ordinary Girl

Chapter 18: I'm all hers

I  was watching her sleep in the bed now. Surprisingly, she did not object anymore when I urged her to take the bed and I will take the couch. As soon as she stopped crying, she became strangely quiet and for some unknown reasons, it scares the hell out of me. I hate it. I hate the silence between us, it strangles me gradually.

Yes, I heard myself soft but clearly earlier when I confessed to her what she means to me, what I truly feel for her, and though she did not respond, she did not protest either, and guess, I could live with that. If her memory disappears forever, I think I can live with that, so long as she would not push me away, nor pull herself away from me. As long as she let me stay this near to her, I can live with it forever.

Tears welled up in my eyes. I laughed sarcastically at myself. I've been a crybaby these days and the funny thing is, it doesn't bother me. If I'd have to shed a million more tears or run endless roads just so to be with Sweet, I will do it. I will never get tired running after her, even if it takes me a lifetime. I will always go after her, wherever she goes, she'll find me there. I will never disappear from her life and I will trade everything to keep her in my life.

I was suddenly awakened when my arm fell from being propped under my chin. I realized I fell asleep while watching Sweet.

"Why don't you sleep?"

My body froze upon hearing her broken voice spoke. I looked at her and she was staring blankly at me. The dimness of the room kept half of her face from me. She was rolled to her left, her arms were under her head and she was lying curled up on her side.

I opened my mouth to speak but she cut me off. "I had a bad dream." She said and looked away from me.

I straightened up to listen to her.

"You were there, I knew it was you, I saw your face." She said, the drop of her tear did not hide itself from my eyes. "I saw you, I ran to you, I called you many times but you kept walking away. I had to run harder in order to catch you but it's like you did not want to be caught. Still, I tried harder. I did not stop calling your name until you finally noticed me and looked at me." She choked and started sobbing, I knelt before her and wiped her tears with the back of my fingers. "You looked at me," when she said that, she tossed her eyes at me, and I read the solid pain and unreadable emotions mixed with it, registered all over her face. Even in darkness, she was flushing tomato red in too much crying.

"Shh... Please, if it's not going to make you feel okay, don't think about it. It's nothing but a dream, it's never going to happen." I assured her.

"It felt so real. I saw the school, I saw a girl, I saw a huge guy, they both looked at me with deep anguish and you were standing stiffly before me. Your eyes, your eyes, they brought chill to my bones." She cried. "I was scared. But I wanted to see you, I wanted to be with you there. I did not care even if you looked as though you'd take my life away with your mere glare."

I was lost for words. I do not want to think that the girl and the huge guy she was talking about was Celestine and that asshole who assaulted her. But perhaps, her subconscious mind will always remind her of some tragic events in her life. If there's one thing she needs to forget for good, that's the moment she was nearly murdered. I, too, needs to permanently remove it from my head because every time I remember it, I still want to strip the flesh off the bones of Celestine and her friend.

"I remember very clearly what you said to me in my dream, 'You're overreacting! I'm not pissed, I'm not jealous and I don't care if you'd strip down with any men in public! I don't care about you and I don't care about what you want! Please get lost!'" When she said that, I felt my heart beat in my head. I perfectly remember each of those cussing words that I told her before.