Rhythm

Part 5

To say Derek was a little miffed about not being your only anchor was an understatement.

"Derek, I don't understand what the big deal is!" You called after him in an aggravated huff, following him as he stalked to the kitchen.

He spun around so quickly, you almost ran into him, stumbling back at the last second with a frown.

"Because, Y/N! Normally it wouldn't be, but with you.... It's different."

"Well. That was enlightening," you said slowly, mirroring the scowl he sent your way.

"It's just different, okay? Can we leave it alone? Move on?" He went to walk past you, and you kept staring straight ahead, catching him stop in your peripherals as you answered. "No."

He sighed heavily, turning his face toward you, and you slowly did the same, making yourself look in his eyes, your hand resting on your hip clenching tightly to remind you to keep your mouth shut and listen.

Turning his body toward you, he spoke in a low voice, laced with a tone you hadn't heard him use before and couldn't quite place. "Look. The majority of my life, I have been the broody, weird, lurker who is always in the shadows. I'm the one everyone hates. The monster. Who has a record because I take the fall for someone else. And I was fine with that. Until you."

You slowly turned your body to face him, only to have him turn and continue walking away, running his fingers through his hair as he spoke, staring at the floor. "I was okay with being the fall guy, especially for one of my betas. I was fine, so long as I had pain. Pain makes you human. To grow up your whole life not having to worry about a scraped knee, a broken bone, hardly ever getting sick..... Pain was my anchor. And then you showed up, and made my heart stop." He looked up at you. "And for this first time, I listened. Something everyone takes for granted, even us werewolves, just like breathing, you don't notice your heart trying to speak until it shouts. And it shouted at me in that silence, in that little murmur. It was only one word, but it was enough."

"And what was that word?" You dug the toe of your shoe into the floor, wiggling it around as a sort of distraction, glancing down at your laces as they swung.

"You."

Snapping your eyes back up to his, you heard that tone again.

"I didn't even know your name, but my heart knew it was you."

You looked back down at your shoe, tapping it mindlessly into the ground.

"And then I find out that I'm your anchor. For the first time in a long time, someone cared enough about me that it made a difference. Not just in their day to day life, but in their shift. In my own beta's shift. Hell, you should hate me more than anyone! I dragged you into all this, I made you, and I'm your boss. By default, you should hate me on principle."

You looked back up at him, chuckling, seeing his own grin trying to turn up his lips.

"But you don't. No, your heart spoke and you listened. But then it kept talking. Telling you that no, it isn't me. It's what my anchor used to be - holding on to that little bit of humanity."

"Derek, do you believe in soul mates?"

He looked a bit taken aback, his voice somewhat nostalgic. "Yes."

"You and I both have the same anchor - we hold on to being human, use the things that remind us of our humanity. When I realized that night of my first change that humanity was my anchor, it was the rhythm of Stiles' heartbeat with mine. It didn't match, not like ours. It set an entirely new tempo, with jump beats and opposing patterns, but somehow they meshed. And I thought, 'Like the sun and moon. Night and day. The monster and me'."

Derek took a sharp breath.

"So not only do we both cling to humanity, we both think of ourselves as monsters in a way, and try our hardest to remember what it's like to be good, to not have this raging voice in our heads opposing everything that we know should feel natural, and right. And on top of that, we both carry our own ghosts, and their whispering isn't helping. The only thing that is, that reminds me why I want to stay human?"

You listened to Derek's increased heart rate, smiling, and hearing the skip. "Is that."

Derek began to allow himself to smile.

"So don't you dare feel like you don't mean everything to me. I found my other half. The one who literally matches me beat for beat. Even the missed ones. Why would I ever let go?"

"Do you know why the missed beat is so important?" Derek asked you, closing the distance between the two of you at a painstakingly slow pace.

You shook your head no.

"Because it's a tell. When someone lies, their heartbeat speeds up. When someone is calm, it's slow, telling the truth? Steady. But a skip.... Is silence. It's the most vulnerable part of a person, the biggest tell." He was right in front of you now, looking down into your eyes as you stared up into his. "When your heart skips a beat, you need to listen, because it's telling you something you might not even know."

"How can silence say so much?"

"It's the silence that says everything. It holds the name of whoever made it stop. If someone dies in front of you, and you feel like the world stops? It's because they were a little bit of your world, and that skip is so profound, it makes your heart beat sound like it's in your ears when you hear it again." He took one of your hands, looking down at it as he laced your fingers.

"When you look across a crowded room, and meet the eyes of a random stranger, and all you see is them, that beat goes on for a while, and suddenly the world goes back to normal, because you realize they were always meant to be a part of your life. You just hadn't met them yet." He took your other hand with his free one, lacing your fingers, and staring at it with a smile.

"And when your heart beat stutters whenever someone walks into the room. Into your thoughts." He met your gaze once again, and the resounding skip sounded between you both, making your own grin start. "Into your dreams. You know that person is your person. The one who will forever hold a piece of your heart. A part of your world. The beat of your heart." His nose brushed against yours as his lips ghosted the last words against your own, a smile on both your faces. "The silence will always say their name."