Okay, so if you are a squealish girl this book is probably not for you. Its humor, and I wouldn't say its crude, but its kind of nasty... I think its funny. Maybe thats because I'm used to hanging around my boy cousins. Nonetheless, I do not think this is that gross, but like I said, if you are a squealish girl, you might.
Vote, comment, follow, and critique! Read on!!
____________________
No matter what way you spin it, waking up from a comfortable sleep is never, under any circumstances, pleasant. Never. Not if it is a disastrous alarm clock that screams like satan into the very depths of your soul, or if its your mom casually waxing your mustache (and by that I mean unnoticable and frankly cute peach fuzz), and especially not if you're awoken by the squealish scream of Clay in protest to the rancid gas Brody just let out.
"That is nasty!" Clay yelled, gagging. It was only a second more until the scent reached my sensitive nostrils, resulting in my sudden jolt awake, searching for the nearest window.
"I tell ya, I ate something that isn't quite agreeing with me.... Is that another one?" Brody speculated casually.
"Dear God NO!" Clay screamed, as I scrambled to the SUV's sun roof. Not only did I proceed to stick my whole head out the car, gasping in the clean air, but I was quick to realize why Clay had waited to open the windows; it was pouring outside. The cold droplets rolled off my curls and down my back.
"You're ruining the interior of my car!" Clay yelled in protest, using his werewolf strength to yank me down from the window.
"His toxic gas is ruining the interior of my LUNGS!" I yelled back, standing back up. Mr. Melodramatic took this as his cue to climb over the seat, shut the sun roof, and sit on me. This maneuver successfully knocked Jenson's limp body off the seat and onto the floor of the car.
"I need more chloroform!" Clay yelled, as I reached my arm around to punch him in the crotch. We both gasped (with no other option) for fart-air, his massive figure nearly crushing my lungs.
"Alright, dick-face, that is quite enough!" I yelled, rolling his now-limp body off of me. Brody snickered up front.
"Its funny because he has penises on his-"
Before the giant beast could finish his sentence, his slight giggle was enough to push out not two, not three, but four more nuclear bombs. My nonexistant lunch churned unnappreciativley inside my stomach.
"Shit, that last one was NOT A FART," Brody said, haphazardly crossing three lanes of traffic to get off at the exit we almost missed. Ignoring the volley of beeps and horns, I debated breathing through my mouth. Sure, it would save my nose the pain, but then it would feel like I was eating it.
"You SHARTED?" Clay asked increduously, holding his shirt over his nose, as if that was really helping.
"I'll never trust another fart." Brody's tone was accepting of the ill-fate, but not welcoming. He was clearly upet by the rift in his relationship with his toxic bodily functions. Clay was fuming in clear anger towards Brody, and I couldn't deny I felt quite the same.
I was regretfully mouth breathing at this point.
When Brody pulled in a gas station, he threw open the car door, waddling as fast as he could into the Sunoco. It was a couple minutes more until the awful scent subsided.
"Where's my baby girl?!" Jenson awoke, startling Clay. I, on the other hand, just rolled my eyes. Was he seriously worried about me?
"She's right there, idiot," Clay muttered, his heart still beating slightly faster than normal.
YOU ARE READING
Super Wolf
Werewolf(Warning: Language) My name is Brinley Easton and I'm a werewolf. That's right. Half human, half canine. I burst into a big fluffy ball of fur when something sets me over the edge. I can smell nearly five-hundred scents at a time, and identify each...
