No choice

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I woke up the next morning feeling very confused. I let Artur kiss me and I enjoyed it, I kissed him back. What did it mean? Artur admitted to me last night that he loved him since he first saw me but that's crazy. He kidnapped me and stuffed me in a room and my parents in a dungeon cell. That's not loving someone no matter how you look at it. Why did he choose me? What was it about me that made him feel the need to kidnap me rather than just come up to me and say hi? Yes, I would have turned him down but at least I wouldn't be in this nightmare. I would be home right now surrounded in a safe familiar environment with the people I love. Suddenly Adam popped into my head and I felt incredibly guilty. I have kissed another man and I enjoyed it. I'm meant to be in love with Adam, I still am! However, I can't deny the fact that I feel something towards Artur. He's changed since we first met. He saved me from being raped by another man and he pulled himself away so nothing else could happen between us last night. These are not the actions taken by a madman but of a caring one. Was his mother right? Am I helping Artur get back to his true self? This is all too confusing, I need advice but who do I get it from? I obviously can't talk to anyone in Artur's employment. My only option is my parents but they would be ashamed of me. I'll have to settle for my parent's disappointment, I don't have anyone else. Which parent should I disappoint? Mother of father? Which parent would be the least disappointed? That question I knew the answer too.

I could feel a constant pain in my right leg, I looked over to my right and saw that Artur was shuffling about again. I rolled over and hugged him for a few minutes until he calmed down. Artur rolled onto his back and lifted his left arm up into the air, signalling for me to cuddle into his side. I hesitantly rested my head onto his chest and let his arm drape around my body. My head rose and fell with Artur's deep breathes. I waited for him to calm down from his distressing nightmare before asking about it.

"It's the same one as before. They're always the same." Artur answered.

"Have you considered speaking to a therapist? Maybe they could give you something to help you sleep better at night?" I asked, my voice filled with concern.

"Julie I have been going to therapists since I was sixteen years old." Artur laughed. Why was he laughing? I was being serious.

"They didn't help?" I quizzed.

"They can't help because I refuse to move past it in my psychological state according to my last therapist. I have nothing to help me move past it. I look at my mother and I'm reminded of my father and she is the same. She looks at me and sees my father. We try to help each other but we can't. That is why I'm so happy that I have you. A welcome distraction and maybe my salvation" Artur explained.

"Wow, that's a lot of responsibility." I whispered.

"I only wish, to be honest with you Julie." Artur stated. He angled our bodies so that he could kiss me on top of my head.

"Would I be able to walk in the garden with my father today?" I begged.

"Of course, he has behaved himself as of late but only once all the guests have left," Artur replied.

I'll have to speak to dad about my feelings, mum would be too crushed and give up all hope of rescue. Especially if she thinks that I don't want to be rescued. "in fact I'll move your parents into their proper bedrooms today."

"Really?" I asked in disbelief.

"Well, of course, the dungeons were always temporary. I'll arrange it with Alexel today." Artur answered.

"Thank you, that means so much to me!" I exclaimed. 

I jumped up and hugged him as a sign of my appreciation. When I pulled back I somehow ended up looking into his eyes and his eyes into mine. I looked for any signs of deceit or madness but I saw none. All I saw was his genuine concern for me and my family. Our eyes stayed locked for what felt like minutes before I cleared my throat in order to distract myself from his powerful gaze.