July

Stay

When we went downstairs Kate was drinking coffee in the kitchen and Rory was still sprawled out on the couch.

"Mornin' lovebirds." Kate smirked. "Mom said she and Nate are gonna be here around four."

"Cool." Isla responded with a smile. I heard springs creaking and looked over to see Rory rising out of bed. Her hair was a mess, even though she wasn't asleep for very long at all, and she never moved to fix it. She moved over to the coffee pot, poured herself a mug, and took a big gulp......black.

"Finally awake, sleepyhead." Kate teased.

"Well, how could I sleep when you're all standing five feet from my head practically yelling?" She said with a joking smile.

"Not a morning person, huh?" I said. She shoved me in the arm, causing me to nearly spill my coffee which would have been a travesty.

"I want to make dinner special tonight." Kate was telling Isla. "You know, for when you guys announce the engagement."

"No, we're not."

I don't know why I said it, or rather, why I chose then to say it, but once I did I couldn't take it back. Every eye was on me.

"Adam, honey." Isla was calm, but close to exploding, I could tell. "What are you talking about?"

Before I had a chance to respond, I was out the door, heart pounding against my chest, breathing didn't seem to be the easiest thing to do anymore. They all followed me out to the porch but I was already halfway down the road. I could hear Kate for a moment, telling Isla that I just needed some time to think. As always, god bless Kate.



Minutes later I found myself sitting in the wet sand at a beach I've never been to, half expecting Isla to come after me despite what Kate had said. But of course, she never did. Maybe that was what I'd been looking for. What I had feared was true. Isla isn't going to fight for us. A half-hearted effort on on part isn't going to work.

But then again maybe Isla just cant find me. It was childish of me to walk out like that. But there I sat, studying the waves of the same ocean i watched last night. The sky was grey. Everything was grey. Even the water seemed dimmer than befre.

"Shes furious, you know."A voice behind me said.

Rory.

"I bet."

She sat down next to me. Her chin resting on her knees like last night. The wind was beginning to pick up.

"So," She said.

"So?"

"So, why'd you say that?" She turned her head and looked at me. I looked her in the eyes. Brilliant green. I didn't know what to say to those eyes, far more superior than me.

"To be honest, I'm not entirely sure. Thats what I'm trying to figure out. I think I've subconsciously known why this whole time though."

"Known what?"

"That this wasn't going to work out. We've been growing apart and we don't even agree on where to live. I mean she thinks we do. And now I-" I couldn't seem to finish my thought. This was all too much coming up too quick. All at once.

"And now you what?"

"And now I'm not even sure I want to go back to New York. I'm not even sure I love her." That last part made my insides cringe. God, how I wished I could take it back. I was regretting a lot of things lately. "I'm seeking the life I could of had, outside of my seemingly forever life in the city, and coming here........" Rory took my shaking hands into hers, tables turned from last night." Coming here gave me all the confirmation I needed."

"You don't need to go back there if it makes you so unhappy."

"You're right. You're completely right. I want to stay here." God I felt like such a child, but she held on tighter and tears were trying to escape my eyes but there was also a lot of anger in me that wouldn't let them come out. I was angry at myself and for some ridiculous reason, at Isla.

"Then stay."





Guilt gnawed at my chest. Isla's mom was driving all this way to see her daughter and this happy couple that doesn't exist anymore. A happy couple that had big news.

"Sometimes you have to do yourself a favor too. I'm sure Isla's mom and Kate and her brother, I'm sure they'll all understand. Either way, her mom gets to see her children. Thats nice either way, isn't it? Its better that you're happy and that you're giving Isla the chance at seeking a more real relationship." She was right. God why did everything she had to say have to be so right?

"Take me to your studio." I said.

And she did.

"So, Lady Lazarus, what got you so into sea glass jewelry?" I said without any humor in my voice because I was so close to diminishing into a blubbering idiot.

"My irritating need to eat and live with a roof over my head."

"Things got that bad?"

"The economy's no place for an artist and tourists will buy into any bauble you call 'local art'. I just wish people would give my stuff that actually matters to me a chance." I nodded because I understood. It sucks to work so hard on something and have people be only interested in the thing that you couldn't care less about. At least I imagine it would.

"I know this is a lot to ask, but can I stay with you? I just don't think I'm ready to face Isla quite yet."

"Of course."