Dig Deep

Mind Stays Busy

J/ I enter the halls again headed to god-knows-where. I just need to walk. I only have one class left before I can go home and figure everything out. I walk past two freshmen girls, I think nothing of them until I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see the two bouncing up and down and smiling.
"Is this you? How cute!" the blonde girl says, practically shoving her phone in my face.
"How long have you two been dating?" the brunette squeals. I squint, is that, is that me and Miles!? Freshman love connection? No no no no no this can't be happening.
"I- I gotta go." I blurt out, almost pushing the pair out of the way and bolting for the door.
Screw last period, I need to go home now.
-
I slam my bedroom door shut and leap onto my bed. I pull out my phone and pull up the article as quickly as I can. Oh my god, this is worse than I thought. Look at me, I look so in love, but- but I'm not, right?
I put down my phone, take a deep breath, and lie down. I shut my eyes. Time to think. Am I gay? Do I like Miles? No, no I like- no I- I- am I gay? I imagine Miles shirtless... And great, now I'm turned on. Okay, now to imagine the hottest girl in the school... Bianca Blackwell... naked. Hmm, yup, I'm gay. Fuck. I have never even thought to question this before. I've always assumed I like girls, but I've never actually, like, really looked at one or liked one really. I had been too focused on my music. I've never had a high libido anyways, maybe I was just looking in the wrong direction? Anyways, a more important topic than my sex drive is that Miles, yes Miles, a dude, likes me, potentially... and I think I like him back... rest in peace my street cred.
-
M/ I get stares all of fourth period. I messed up, big time.
"How could you lead me on like that?" Alya whispers in a harsh tone.
I furrow my eyebrows, "I didn't mean to. I didn't even know you liked me. Besides, I don't like Jax, I'm not gay. It was our spare and I was running a song by him. It wasn't meant to be taken out of context." I explain, trying to convince the blonde that Jax and I aren't an item. I don't care if people know I'm into dudes, but Jax would. The worst part is he might not even be gay. This could ruin his street rep.
"Oh." Alya says, "That makes sense."
I smile, "Yeah, anyways, I gotta go fix this."
I dial Jax's number. I guess it's time to humiliate myself further.