Teach Me How - Dean Ambrose Fan Fiction -

Chapter 10

I didn't go home. I honestly didn't care where I went, but I ended up at the park which was fine with me. I sat on the swings, alone. It was pitch black, and it was around 10 PM when we got to Jon's house. I always fuck shit up. Now he hates me, he never wants to see me again. Did we break up? Does he even care? It's been about an hour and I haven't heard anything from him. It probably doesn't help that my phone is dead. I let out a sigh and close my eyes. I'm not going home at all tonight, it's to far and I'm to tired. I yawn and stand from the swing to go to the grass and I lay down, looking up at the stars. It's a beautiful night, I just wish Jon was here with me.

Jon's point of view...

"Are you sure she never came back here?!" I ask beginning to panic. Her mom nods her head. Fuck. FUCK! Why do I always fuck shit up?!
"Ok. I'm going out to find her." I say and run to the door making sure to close it all the way when I leave.
Why am I so fucking dumb? Why did I yell at her? She was just worried because I got hurt, I'd do the same fucking thing if she was hurt. God! I'm such a fucking dick! I drive down the street thinking of where she could be. Wait a minute. She wanted to go somewhere tonight... the pool? No. Uhm. The... The fucking park! She has to be there. Wait. What if she's at that guys house? She better fucking be at the park. I speed down the road and turn into the small lot of the park and get out.
"Emma!" I yell out. No answer. I walk towards the slides and swings.
"Emma! Are you here? I'm sorry baby girl I didn't mean to yell at you!" I hear something move then a beautiful voice.
"Jon?!" I hear. I move closer and there I see my beautiful girlfriend sitting up in the grass and looking at me. My heart beats faster when my eyes meet hers.
"Baby I'm so sorry and I didn't mean to yell at you." I say. I move towards her and sit down. She doesn't say anything, she just pulls her knees to her chest and rests her head there. I scoot closer to her so I can put my arms around her. Her shoulders shake a bit and she sniffs and I realize that she is crying. I pull away and try to look at her face which is hidden.
"Emma what's wrong?" She stays there a moment before she lifts her head and looks at me. I can practically feel her sadness.
"Are we still together Jon?" She whispers. My mouth widens immediately.
"Yeah, why wouldn't we be? Don't you want to be with me?" When she doesn't respond I can feel my eyes begin to water.
"Emma don't you want to be with me baby? I'm not forcing this on you am I? Do I make you uncomfortable? I know I'm an ass hole and I'm sorry. I know you were just worried about me and I'd be the same way if it were the other way around. Do you still like me?" She still doesn't answer, she just looks up into my eyes and I can see hers filling up with tears.
"Of course I want to be with you Jon" She finally says. After hearing her words I could feel my tears slowly go away and a goofy smile pulling my lips. She returns it and we just stay like that for what seems like forever before the urge to hold her again gets unbearable. I lean to her and wrap my arms around her body. Her smaller arms wrap around me and I take this time to enjoy her touch. I can feel her breathing and I can feel her heartbeat against my chest and her scent is intoxicating.
"Jon..." She whispers. I pull away a bit to look down at her.
"What baby?" I ask. What she says next nearly kills me.
"I... I've never been with anyone.. and I have never felt this way... I don't know what it is but um- I'm just gonna say what my heart wants me to say." She says. I nod my head signaling for her to go on. She takes in a deep breath.
"Jon I love you" You know when people in the movies say it's like everything disappeared and it was like it was only you and the one their with? That's kinds what it felt like now. It was all in slow motion, I could hear her words over and over after she said them. Do I love her? Are we moving to fast? I study her face to see if she was kidding but she was staring at me back, probably waiting for an answer. My head is telling me to just tell her I love her too. But my heart... my heart isn't saying a word.
"Baby" I whisper. I don't know what to say, I want to be with her but not saying the three big words back to her is probably the worst idea I've ever made.
"Can I be honest Emma?" I continue. Her eyes start to fill with tears, she knows what I'm going to say. It breaks my heart to see what I'm putting her through.
"Ye-yeah Jon."
I take a deep breath and look into her eyes.
"I dont know if I-I love you yet. But baby trust me when I say that you mean everything to me ok?" She nods and looks away from me. Then she asks me,
"What time is it?" I tell her it's midnight and she nods again.
"Well I'm going home. I'll see you... sometime I guess." And with that she gets up and walks away. I know what you're saying. 'Get up and chase her' but I think she needs some space. I did, after all, just probably break her heart.

Emma's Point of View...

He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. You got rejected Emma. This is what you get for trusting someone. Your walls are damaged Emma. He broke them down in a heartbeat.
He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you. HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU EMMA!
No one does. Did you really think he'd say it back? How dumb can you really be? How can you live knowing that the man you put all of your trust into, doesn't feel the same way? Pathetic. You're pathetic.
These thoughts won't stop. Never ending. They're building up. Stacking higher and higher, filling my head with these thoughts that shouldn't be there. I stop walking, I'm half a mile away from my house. There's no one around but all I hear are voices. I look around me, seeing the street light and road and the grass. No one is here. I shake my head, my tears coming down faster. All of this emotion is building and the voices get louder and my head feels heavy now. I spin around.
"STOP!" I scream, covering my ears trying to hide myself from the voices. They just get louder and I don't know what to do.
"Go away!" I yell out. How do I stop this?!
"Stop it! Stop it!"

Jon's Point of View...

It's been three hours. Three long hours and I've been thinking. It's three A.M. and I've gotten no sleep. Emma is clouding my brain. I shake my head and get up from my bed. I silently walk down the stairs and grab my keys. I'm going to Emma's. I'm going to tell her how I feel.

.
.

I ring the door bell when I get there and no one answers. I ring the bell again and I hear footsteps. Someone opens the door and turns the light on. There standing Ms. Greene. I smile at her and she smiles back sleepily.
"I'm so sorry Ms. Greene. I just came to check on Emma. I have to tell her something very important." I say and she let's me in. She goes back to bed and I walk to Emma's room. I knock on her door before walking in. When I walk in, there's a song playing on her speaker.

I try to see the good in life
But good things in life are hard to find
Blow it away, blow it away
Can we make this something good?

I remember this song. Emma told me that this was the song that was on at her dad's funeral.

Well, I tried to do it right this time around
Let's start over, I tried to do it right this time around, it's not over
There's a part of me that's dead and in the ground
This love is killing me, but you're the only one, it's not over

I walk over to her bed side table and smile at the picture of us. I look at her bed and she isn't there. Hm. I look over at her mirror right beside me, facing her closet. Is something moving in there? I turn around.

Taken all I could take, and I can not wait
We're wasting too much time
Being strong, holding on
Can't let it bring us down
My life with you means everything

I feel my legs go weak and my heart stop. Tears rush down my cheeks and I start screaming for Ms. Greene. Seconds later she walks in and sees me on the floor. I point at the closet and get out my phone to call 911.
Cause it's all misunderstood
Well, I tried to do it right this time around
Let's start over, I tried to do it right this time around
It's not over, 'cause a part of me is dead and in the ground
This love is killing me, but you're the only one, it's not over