But, I love you.

Part 38

Today the boys invited me to go swimming with them to change my minds.

They don't like it when I'm alone in a hotelroom. So this afternoon,

while I was reading a magazine, they ran up to me.

"(Y/N), (Y/N) We go swimming today!" Harry says excitly.

"Yeah It's a private beach, no fans." Niall says.

"We would love it if you join us?" Louis finally says.

"Pleaaaaaaseeeeee (Y/N)." Liam says. They all look at me with their puppy eyes.

"Fine!" I tried to sound as happy as I could.

I didn't want to, I really didn't want to.

But I said yes.They looked so happy. They want to cheer me up. I couldn't say no.

I never liked swimming. You get wet and have to wear clothes that barely hides your skin.

But I'm not ashamed besides these boys. They learnd me to enjoy swimming.

It's kinda weird.I bet all the other girls in the world would be ashamed to walk around in Bikini in the same room as One direction. I felt ashamed in the beginning, but not anymore. 

It's like walking beside your brothers. That's how it feels to me.

They always made me feel comfortable.  They made clear that they won't judge me.

The 4 other girls who gonna marry them, are the luckiest on earth.

But today, I don't wanna swim. It was always fun to go swimming with the boys. But today is different.

I still have marks about that night everywhere.

My arms are red, some of them are blue.

On my legs are scars. I hope they won't be permanent.

The last days I've been wearing tshirts with long sleeves so nobody won't notice.

Today I wear a pink blouse. It hides everything perfectly.

I'm sitting on my bed packing my stuff to go swimming.

Knock knock.

I look up to the door. Some curls are heading out of the door.

"Yea?"

"Babe are you ready?" Harry asks.

"Ehm yeah sure." I take my bag and walk to Harry. I give him a quick kiss on his lips and walk downstairs.

I see the the boys waving at me from the mini bus. I run to him and greet him.

I try to look happy, excited.

I don't wanna hurt their feelings. But I'm afraid of their reactions when they see my skin.

Maybe I should use Zayn as an excuse. He'll probably read a book or play games on his iphone when the rest is swimming.

I'm so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realise we're already at the beach.

We get out and I grab Harry's arm.

"You're sure there are no fans or paps here?" I ask a bit worried.

"No love, everything's gonna be alright." He smiles to me. The smile who can make me forget all the problems in the worlds, the smile that can make me forget all the hurt.

They all throw their bags on the ground and run to the water. 

Zayn and I are the only ones who are still at the beach.

"You aren't going in the water yet?" He asks.

"No, I'll sit here with you."

"Thanks." He smiles to me.

I smile back. I take my book and start reading.

Everytime I read, I lose myself into the story. I don't hear what people are saying around me, I have no idea what time it is.

"(Y/N)!" I look up, suprised.

"Good book?" Zayn smirks at me.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you. And it's a pretty good book."

He laughs.

"The boys are asking you to come over." He says while nodding to the boys.

"Ehm no I think I stay here a bit."

"Love, I've sit here alone before. It's okay."

"I don't wanna swim. I'm good." Maybe I said this a bit harsh. I didn't meant to, but I really don't want to swim.

Zayn didn't say anything.

I wanted to take my book back when I saw the other boys coming over. I roll my eyes. Oh no.

"(Y/N) why don't you come?" Harry asks.

"It's fun!" Louis says.

"Im fine guys, I'm reading a book."

"You can read at home all you want love, c'mon enjoy our day off." Harry says again.

I look at him. Doesn't he understand? Doesn't he remember all the scars on my body?

"Yeah Harry is right. Come on!" Niall says.

I'm getting annoyed. "Fine!"

I get up and put of all my clothes. I'm standing in front of them only wearing a bikini. I see them looking at my body.

Looking at every single bruise.

"Are you happy now?" My tears are filled with tears. I sit down with my head in my hands.

"I'm sorry love. I didn't think about..." Harry tries to say but  I don't let him finish his sentence.

"How could you not think about it? You see them all the time." I yell.

"Because" He sits in front of me and takes my hands. He makes me look in his eyes.

"Because when I look at you I see a wonderfull girl, with or without the bruises. They gonna fade away kitten. I promise you." He hugs me tightly.

I look up to the other boys.

"I'm sorry..."

"(Y/N)! Don't be sorry. We didn't think about that. We should be sorry." Louis says.

"No no no it's not your fault." I say while hugging them.

"(Y/N), I think we all agree if I say that you're beautiful no matter what. It hurts us to see you like this and we gonna make sure no one will ever get the chance to hurt you again. We're here for you. We're your best friends."