NAKED

The heart-throb games

It's been nearly a month since carmelo and I had that fallout , I honestly wish I didn't care ...but I sort of do. It's strange he's an complete ass to me without reason and here I am feeling sorry they we aren't on speaking terms .

I home alone again because well ..yeah I sort of don't have a life anymore because I have no job I can't go anywhere and I only have one friend Angela who I haven't seen in what feels like forever. It's bad to say sometimes I envy her all her riches and the very glamorous life she has and I'm just ...schlumpy .Im pathetic I sit in a beautiful mans house all day like some princess waiting to be rescued but the prince is completely and utterly un- infatuated with me.

"Ughhhh" I groan bored of waisting my life and besides I want Carmelo to come home, we never talk but at least Someone is in my presence and still he's the only man to ever touch me...so I can't help but to wonder about him. He comes home such late times in the night and just stares at me as if he is thinking of breaking our silence. NO MORE I've had enough I'm going to make up with him when he comes home (I'm such a softie ) and besides we live together it's weird not talking.

I decide to call Angela and hope up above go the gods she's not busy and actually picks up this time I've called maybe 300 times in the past NO answer ..best best friend ever .

It rings three times still no answer I decided to hang up aleady and boom she answers. "Angelaaaaaaaa I'm going to strangle you why the hell ! Haven't you been answering ! " I ask furious beaming with anger but happy she answered . " sorry sorry sorry sorry times a billion she states umm I kinda sorta was in Fiji traveling for some business but was going crazy because I couldn't tell you some things and most importantly ask you somethings " she states in a filled with curiosity. " well ask and tell away "I state preparing myself mentally for what was coming fixing my posture . "So I met a guy and be makes me happy but you know I'm always so busy I don't want that ruining it ,what to do ? " she asks in a whiny voice ." Everything that meant to happen will be ,so don't worry about it ...let it come " I say smiling ." Your the best Nicole " she says, "duhhhh" I say starting to laugh. " what's the question ?". "You don't deal with that rich-bitchy guy do you?" ..I was silent for a minute "well....yeah I'm still repaying him in that all too strange way remember?"...there's a super long pause before she stirs up all types of emotion in me . " why??" I ask trying to remain calm . " you seriously haven't been watching tv have you Nicole ? " and my heart drops. "He has a fiancé it's all over tv he is a very wealthy and handsome young ceo of a multibillion dollar company anyway he's sick ! And I say you leave .

I hang up the phone ....right in Angela's ear.
Of course she calls back Nearly 8 times but she'll get the picture soon . I'm shaking in mere horror and press the big red power button that's about to possibly confirm everything wrong in this moment right now .

As I flipped through all the celeb gossip Channels there it was ...there he was with her and worst of all her enormous tummy looking as though she was about to blow .

I turned off the tv and continued to sit in silence and my heart broke for some odd reason unknown to me I was affected by this. I mean should I be ? Is this why he's been coming home late looking at me in such a dreadful manner? Then maybe I can leave ? But where will I go ? With Angela NO , im tired of depending on her. The biggest question I'm afraid to ask is why wouldn't he allow me to leave and why get so riled up because I was with a guy friend .....we have to talk & that's final .

I've just about had it with his shit. All these games and emotional roller coasters,when he gets here I don't care how intimidating he is we will talk . I eat ,shower and lay down to rest hoping I don't fall asleep so I just turn on the tv to see more of him and that girl it begins to sicken me .

I play games on my phone , get on the computer looking for jobs , surf the social media , and even watch Netflix for hours next thing my eyes are heavy and I'm dozing off.