Tension was building inside of me, leaving me almost unable to breath. Fear was corrupting me more than what he might say or do. I never saw a person that distant from anyone in my life, probably because I grew up in a very close family and community. Scott has said maybe four sentences to me since he pushed me to the wall precisely two weeks ago. I tried to tell him that I forgive him but that only resulted in less contact and more avoidance; leaving me clueless of what to do. He was also sleeping in the guests' room which made me wonder what was going on in head even more. He had vowed to me in the beginning of our relationship and during our wedding vows, that he would tell me anything that was troubling him, but he clearly broke those vows.
"I'm working late tonight," he said in a very low voice and I just nodded because I knew we were not going to have a conversation anyways. He grabbed his jacket that was on the couch, leaving me alone in the silent house. The silence of the house comforted me unlike the presence of Scott which made me nauseous.
I look around the house, thinking what I could do for a whole day, but I am left with no answers and a blank face since the house was all shining clean. Scott has been mostly out and not home so the only mess is made by me when cooking. I decide to do the laundry because for some reason laundry makes me calm and distracted. The day passed and all I did was the laundry and stare both at my silver wedding ring and my visible scar from two weeks ago. Not being able to sleep without knowing Scott is alright, I decide to watch some television. Nothing interesting shows late at night and the moving scenes makes me fall asleep.
A big crashing sound wakes me up instantely. I panic of what might have happened and as soon as the lights were switched on I see Scott in the hallway, staring at a smashed bottle of Whiskey. The bottle was empty and he must have dropped it by mistake. The strong scent of alcohol on Scott immediately entered my nostrils and I did not know what to do.
"C-clean it!" he ordered me and I then realised how drunk he was as he could neither speak or walk properly.
"I will. Go to bed," I whisper, not wanting to make a fuss. He did not hesistate, since he was drunk and did not know what to do with his body. I cried heavily as I picked up the broken bottle glass. Scott has bever been violent until recently and it is making me sick to my stomach to forcefully pick up what he decides to break.
Hours passed and I am almost passed out on the couch when I hear the door slightly creaking open. I look at my watch and I notice that it is almost four in the morning and I wonder if Scott had gone out again and I did not realise. I see a dark figure coming in from the kitchen door and I immediately notice that it is not Scott since this person is much taller and I could feel tingling in my hands and feet. There is absolutely no light in the house and the person is coming closer.
"Who are you?" I ask with a trembling voice.
"It doesn't matter," the person whispers. The voice is very deep even though he is whispering. I do not recognise the man's voice from anywhere and now I get really terrified and almost about to puke. Slowly, I try to get up from the couch but I trip on a ball of yarn. The man is incredibely close now and I cannot get up from the floor since I have lost feeling of my hands and feet with fear. I feel myself being lifted and thrown onto the couch. When I try to run away, one big steady hand grabs me from both wrists and seconds after I feel myself being undressed. I start screaming maybe Scott hears me from upstairs while I am trying to get out from the man's grip. I am crying at this point as he starts to touch my body with his free hand. I am out of breath and no energy to continue struggling and so I give up and let him finish what he came for so it could be done and over with. As soon as he is done using me like I am his pathetic slave, he collects his clothes and proceeds to leave. I am there, naked and trembling on the couch as I hear him whisper, "you were great."
After hours of sobbing and screaming, I fall asleep feeling ashamed and disgusted and hoping that this night was just a nightmare, even though deep inside I knew that it was not and that this was all reality.
