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Did he lose you, or did you lose him?
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Later on that evening, I decided that my life sucked.
It was three weeks into summer and all I can remember doing was writing about a boy who did not want me, and listen to one song that poured my heart and soul out. I wasn't too sure if I could really describe my life as a calamity because I was breathing, I was alive, and I was mentally sane-not too sure of that- I was physically healthy, my three years old love did not hurt anymore, at least not that much. I was breathing, and that was a good sign, as far as I was concerned. I believe I liked the person I was. I had believed all my life that I was indeed unique and that I had a beautiful mind despite its complexity. That's until I met him.
Here's the truth: if we hadn't met, I may had been a happier person, but it's for damn sure that I wouldn't be me. But then again, after him, I no longer liked the person I was. But I had to give him credit for making me a bit stronger. Nate made me want to hide. I didn't want to.
"Guess who's here!" A familiar voice cheered and I heard the door literally being kicked open with someone's foot. I jumped slightly in surprise, but when I looked around me, It was my friend Meghan.
"Meghan, you could've knocked." I told her and suddenly I remember Harry and I's first conversation. I smiled to myself.
Meghan casually kicked her shoes off and jumped on the bed next to me.
After taking off the pillow under my elbows, she chuckled mischievously and kissed my cheek, "So, how are you doing?" She asked me.
I laid on my back, staring at the ceiling. "I'm fine actually. I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life though." I answered honestly.I was fine, really fine. I mean fine as in nothing was wrong. Fine as in she didn't have to worry about me. I was just constantly suppressed by the idea that I was wasting away my life.
Your writing is too beautiful to have him in it... Harry said to me... Maybe there were things out there that were worth writing more than a boy who left me utterly deflated.
"College sucks man, I definitely regret not taking a gap year just like you did." She complained. I wanted to tell her that my gap year is terrible but i kept my words to myself.
"I told you... After thirteen years of learning, it's only fair for you to take a break." I shrugged.
"I'm sure you're having the time of your life. This song is the best proof." She said sarcastically and rolled her eyes at me, turning off the CD player.
"I like this song." I told her. Car Radio was definitely the song that described me the best.
"You've been listening to it on repeat for an entire year. Usually you get sick of a song when you hear it twice." Meghan remarked, checking her fingernails.
"That just proves how good the song is."
"No, that proves that you need to go out and have some fun." She hit me with the pillow. My heart started aching at one of my least favourite words in the English Dictionary.
"Meghan..." I trailed, silently begging her to avoid talking about what I was sure she was going to talk about.
"Look, I know you don't like it when people talk to you about these stuff... But this is getting serious." She nudged my arm with her foot.
