Finding Her

Chapter 9: Aftershock

Chapter 9: Aftershock

My hands went up to my lips where James had just kissed me. Damn, that man had some fine lips, they were soft and smooth; the moment he brought his hand up to caress my cheek a jolt of fire snaked its way through my body, when his lips covered mine it was like a flash of realization, I felt alive in ways I wasn't sure that I'd ever been.

For that brief moment that I had been in his arms it had felt so right, I hadn't intended to use him or to give him the idea that he could kiss me but at this point I wasn't regretting a thing. It was at that moment that I began wondering what the kiss was like for him. Did he like it? Did he feel the same jolt that I did? I mean I knew that I was out of practice but that didn't mean that I was suddenly a bad kisser or any less sensual than I was before. That got me thinking, how sensual was I? How free and confident was I sexually? Did I even know what it's like to make love to a man or maybe even fuck him senseless?
"Oh God, what if I'm a virgin!?" I said to the empty room "Or worse.... what if I'm a prude who's never been sexually adventurous."
My anguish turned into laughter as I realized my silliness. Never been kissed and made love I swear my memories showed a husband so of course we've kissed and most likely made love. Sexually adventurous maybe I don't know but I could always find out.

                                                                          *****James' POV*****

I spun around and left the room before she could say anything else. I decided to finish work from home, the drive back home was so intense, I had to keep dragging my mind back to focus; her lips were all I could think about and how she felt so snug and perfect against my body. As soon as I was safely behind my closed doors the eruption happened.

"You ass hat!" I yelled to the room. "How could you kiss her like that! Are you crazy!" I paced across the room, having a full blown fight with myself. "You're supposed to be her friend, she's going to read into this and think a whole bunch of things." I had to admit though that kiss was fantastic, even though it didn't last for long her lips were delicate, but her response firm and feminine. Oh and those curves man oh man did she have curves. How did I ever think that she looked so fragile in that ditch?

Momentarily my mind flashed back to the first time I kissed Nathalie, she wasn't as curvy as Shay was but her body had been just as soft and there was a fire in her eyes when we pulled apart. I needed to get my shit straight when it came to these Nathalie-Shay crossovers. I shouldn't feel bad for having these feelings about Shay, if I can even call them feelings. I needed a drink. Equipped with a glass of scotch I was able to begin the calming down process, how was I supposed to face her now knowing that I had violated the terms of friendship and that I had kissed her even though she didn't give any cues that she wanted me to kiss her. I couldn't help myself, her hug, her short "bye" the way she felt in my arms and those beautiful hazel eyes looking up at me I just lost it.

"Listen to yourself man. You sound just like a teen." I reminded myself of those nerdy guys in high school lusting after the hot new girl knowing that I can't have her. That was rather ironic since I was a nerd in school. I was lanky, shy and good at school; sports weren't my thing. I tripped over my feet and was awkward with a ball, bat or tennis racket. Considering how I looked today you'd never guess that I was that teen that everyone teased and thought would be a nobody. My mom always said that I would grow into myself, I never understood what she meant until I got into college.

I put all thoughts about women aside and went into my office to work on some new codes, some of our clients were complaining about some bugs that disrupted the system. Fixing bugs were a bitch, but hey I'm a computer geek so I love those bitches; all the hard work that I had to do to find and solve the problem kept my mind from wandering too far and landing me back on the Nathalie-Shay dynamic. The bugs I had to fix took me the rest of the day.

Sleep was hard to come by, images of Nathalie and Shay danced in my mind. I was happy with both women but the images of the happy times were blurred by a black cloud. Morning arrived and I felt like I only had five minutes of sleep, but work had to be done so I dragged myself out of bed and went through the ritual of getting dressed and getting to work.

The day went by in a blur and the time came for me to visit Shay. I had never been this nervous apart from the first time I went to Clearview, but here I was nervous as ever. Apparently shy and nervous young James Sullivan was rearing his head. I took a breath and walked into the building, as usual the lady on the front desk decided that she was going to shamelessly flirt with me. This one was younger than the last with platinum blonde hair, a heavy fake tan and lashes that could stop a truck. I had to give her kudos for being able to keep her eyes open.

As I approached Shay's room flashbacks of the kiss bombarded my mind, there was also an image of her breasts looking delectable in her tank top.

"Knock, knock." I said as I knocked and opened the door.

"Uhmm hi," she didn't even look at me. That was weird, I ignored it and walked over to my usual spot.

"How was your day?" I asked, opening a conversation.

"It was good, I did some strengthening exercises, had an x-ray done, the usual." She still didn't look up. Damn that kiss must have affected her even more than I thought.

"Any memories coming back?" if she doesn't look at me this time I will kiss her again just for good measure. Who are you kidding James you're not going to kiss her again just for good measure, you want to feel her lips on yours again that's why!

"A couple." She moved her hand in a so-so gesture, and of course she doesn't look up.

"Are you alright?" I ask.

"Yeah, of course I am," she twisted one of her curls "why'd you ask?"

"Oh I don't know maybe it's because from the moment I stepped in here you have not looked at me once, not once Shay." I knelt in front of her.

I tilted her chin upwards so she could look at me "If this is about the kiss then just say it, don't avoid looking at me."

                                                                                 ***Shay's POV***

I looked at him, I didn't have much of a choice since his hand was holding my head in place. He asked me if it was the kiss that had me so shy and that I could just say it. No James it's not just the kiss that's got me this way, it's the fact that I don't know how I would react to this had it been under normal circumstances. I don't know if old Shay would just lunge on you and attack your mouth right here right now, damaged leg or no, I don't know if I would have even been attracted to a man like you if I wasn't an amnesiac. But of course I couldn't say those things aloud could I? of course not it would just sound like the rambling of a confused crazy lady.

I just told him no instead, I let him think that it was a memory that was confusing me and that I didn't want to talk about it. He understood completely and we talked about other things.

And that's all for tonight my lovelies. Do enjoy, comment and let me know what you think of the story so far. 

For those of you who don't know a so-so gesture is when a person indicates a state of being with their hand open, palm face down moving from left to right or vice versa, it's done a lot in Dominica. I don't know how many people actually know what this is or do it . Let me know in the comment section how many of you know this or do this thing.

❤️‍Ali