Ok so where do I even start? You all know about my past relationship, how I thought I was in love how shit happened and I wanted to die... How I had to end it so I wouldn't die... And after that I felt lost so I stopped writing in my blog... But so much has happened so I thought now would be a good time to start it again. So here it goes... After I ended things with my ex ( who as always will not be named) I felt lost and confused but I had my really great friend by my side and he helped me and he introduced me to a guy he's friends with. And it was crazy!!! I felt confused, I felt like I really liked him, but I also felt it was to soon to move on (even tho it had been a few months) but me and him kept talking everyday and that first night we talked he said he loved me 😊 and I really felt I loved him, it was crazy how we connected... So I said I loved him, which I really did! And we kept talking and things were moving really fast but I didn't care I wanted him and we started dating on 4/20/16, while everyone was our getting lit I was at dunkin with him! It was really ackward at first and I didn't know what to say we hugged and then it was kinda weird the rest of the time but eventually things started to feel normal ... And we would meet up in the hallway during class and hug and just try to see eachother... And then we kissed 😁 it was weird and rushed but amazing !!! He drove me to school everyday and got me dunkin!! Then I went to his moms house and she left us alone and I was scared... But it turned out amazing !!! And since then I've met his grandparents (who he lives with) and most of the rest of his family. And he's met my mom and dad and step dad and brothers. hopefully soon he will meet the rest of the family. We are always together!! It's crazy !!! And idk how but each kiss feels like it's the first one ! I still get chills. And it's crazy everything that's happened. I feel so lost without him... We've done so much and we sneak to do things 😂 but that's just us... I really love him! It's crazy ! I want to spend my life with him! I want to marry him and move in with him! And have kids and everything. I really just want him!!! He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I never thought I would be happy again but I am and I can't even explain the things I'm feeling now it's so crazy... The little things he does like set reminders in my phone to tell me he loves me or the Twitter and snap chat posts. Or us singing to our song ( best I've ever had ~drake) I just love it all and I love him! I've truly never felt this way! And I know I'm horrible and I mess up a lot and I feel like he deserves so much better then me !! But he's here and I'm so glad he is because he's all I want ! And I love him so much!!! I'll keep you all updated from now on ( yes I know I'm bad at it) but let me know what u think or if u ever need advice on anything I'm here for all of you cause your all here for me. Love you all 😘
~ash
