I've seen plenty of lights.
They call me a crybaby, but it's okay. I don't care anymore, but then again, did I ever really care that much in the first place about what was said about me? You can't care that much when you don't do anything to try and change it. I never confronted anyone or addressed any comments made towards me before then. I only wished and wished the hatred and bitterness would end. Wishes are just hopes made from a dream. My dream, however, was not reality.
So I got real.
It took me a lifetime to realize what it was like to let go. Let go of whatever they said. Whatever they thought. The philosophy comes from a place of self-love, not innocence. I could never be naive with what I had seen. To love yourself more than any words is not a talent; it is a godly will. Nothing will make you more powerful than complete control of yourself. Forget the conquering of everyone else's minds, and start with your own. It's a power move. Only the Lord who I don't believe in knows how I achieved peace with myself.
Perhaps that's the best thing I've learned- how to be content without knowing all the answers.
Life hurts when you feel more, yes, but can you not feel the joy too? Is the adrenaline not enough to keep you satisfied? If the happiness can't keep you together even through the waves and washes of less than great feelings, there is nothing I can do. I am not the ocean; I am not even the moon keeping the tides. I would love to live in your world, but I prefer mine over that sad excuse for a "good time."
