Give Me Therapy

Chapter Four

Chapter Four

          I woke up tired and confused. I looked around the room I was in and sighed when I realized I was still on the bus. I groaned and through the comforter over my head and buried my face into a pillow. The bus wasn’t moving anymore and I wondered why we were parked. I turned my head and peeked out at the small window in my room. I just saw a parking lot with very few cars in it. I sat upright and stretched. My hair was knotted at the back of my head from all of the tossing and turning I did. I didn’t dream long last night, but I wished I could go back to sleep pretending I didn’t agree to the job offer as if the whole situation itself was just a bad dream.

          I threw off the covers and crawled to the edge of the bed on my hands and knees. I reached over to the dresser and pulled open one of the drawers. I tried to reach down to grab my white V-neck but instead my weight shifted and I fell off of the bed and onto the floor with a thud. “Ow!” I yelled as my head hit the dresser. With my hand I felt around on my throbbing forehead until my fingers grazed where the dresser made contact. I could already feel the swelling. “Aw hell,” I said as I stood up. 

          I reached down and grabbed my white v-neck and a black frilly skirt. After changing out of my PJ’s and into my clothes, I walked over to the night stand where I stashed my jewelry. I slipped on a long gold necklace, a silver ring with a rose, and a golden ring that spells love. I pulled my hair up into a messy bun on the top of my head. Looking into the mirror I quickly applied some mascara and swiped a light powder pink blush across my cheeks. I doubled checked my appearance even though I didn’t understand why I needed too. It’s not like I was trying to impress anyone. I mean that would be crazy. Wouldn’t it?

          I grabbed my purse and pulled on a pair of black flats with golden studs before I opened my “bedroom” door. I didn’t need to look around the bus to know that no one else was on. I walked to the door on the bus and opened it up. The bright sun all but blinded me as I stepped down onto the parking lot pavement.  I closed the bus door and blinked a few times to clear my vision.  When my eyes adjusted to the light, I saw that we were parked right outside of a pancake house. “Nice,” I said under my breath, smiling slightly.

          I pushed open the door and looked around. The place was hardly even half empty, and moderately until I heard someone yell out from the back, “Alright seriously?”  I made my way to the back of the restaurant and found the guys sitting around a table, fighting over the syrup. “They aren’t going to run out of syrup guys,” I said as I pulled a chair from another table and squeezed in between Jack and Rian. I sat down and picked up a menu looking for something with fruit.  Jack reached over and took the syrup from Alex’s hands and started drowning his smiley face pancakes with it. “I’d rather not leave it to chance,” he said with a smirk. Alex promptly flipped him off while Rian stole a slice of bacon off of Alex’s plate. Zack chugged down his orange juice and started eating his scrambled eggs while Matt was on his iPhone surfing the internet. 

          A waitress who looked like she should be in college walked up with a pot of coffee and started refilling the guys cups. I looked up at her and set down the menu. “Excuse me, waitress?” I asked. She looked up at me and pulled on a cheesy smile that I’m sure is part of her job. “Can I help you?” she asked with an Oklahoma twang.  “Yes actually, I was wondering if I could get a berry salad and my own cup of coffee. Also the boys will need about a gallon of syrup.” I said. The waitress nodded and made her way back to the kitchens.

          “Just fruit and coffee?” Jack asked me with a mouthful of pancakes

I shrugged. “Yeah, you got a problem with that?” I asked him, but without any attitude behind the words.  “Don’t tell me your one of those girls who doesn’t eat anything,” Rian said as he took a bite of his deluxe omelet.

“No, I just wanted some fruit that’s all.” I didn’t get what the big deal was.  I pulled out a notepad and pen from my purse and jotted down a few notes about the guys and how they hung out with each other for breakfast. I shoved the notepad and pen back into my purse as the waitress came back with my cup of coffee and berry salad.

“Here you are,” she said as she set down my order in front of me. “Thanks I said as I took a sip of the coffee. “Hey, waitress. I just decided I wanted to try the Chocolate Explosion Six Stack,” Alex said with a smirk on his face as he looked over at me.  I raised an eyebrow at him as the waitress wrote down his order and left. “What’s that for? You still have like three huge pancakes on your plate,” I asked him as I grabbed my fork and started eating. Alex shrugged at me and drank from his coffee.

A few minutes later the waitress set down a plate of pancakes in front of Alex. “Would that be all?” The waitress asked with the pen in her hand ready. “No that’ll be it for now, thanks,” Alex said. The waitress left the table again and Alex stood up, grabbing the plate of the Chocolate Explosion Six Stack pancakes. “What are you doing?” I asked the question that everyone was thinking. Even Matt looked up from his iPhone to watch. Alex walked around the table and stood next to me. I stiffened when he stood so close. I wanted to shove him away; I wanted to tell him to step back. Instead I just stood there, watching him as he set down the plate next to my bowl of fruit. “Bon appetite,” Alex said. He winked at me before heading back to his chair. I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until I exhaled. I looked down at the pancakes and as soon as I got a good look at them I glared at Alex. “No way am I eating this,” I said sternly.

“Aw come on. It’s not going to kill you,” Alex said with a testing smile. “It probably will,” I said as I looked back at the pancakes. On the plate where six chocolate pancakes with chocolate ships, chocolate syrup, and brownie bits, cool whip, and chocolate sprinkles to complete it all. “Come on, just eat it. Think of it as your orientation to the group,” he said as he took a mouthful of his pancakes.  My eyes narrowed at him and I almost wanted to laugh. I was the last person who needed to be “orientated” into the group. Despite how much I wanted to just push the plate away, I picked up a fork and knife. I needed to prove that I didn’t care what the hell he did. He may have seen it as simply trying to see if the chick from the magazine company can down a stack of pancakes with crap all over them, but to me it was a challenge that he was giving me. I wasn’t going to let him faze me.

I cut into the top two pancakes and stabbed them with my fork, bringing them up to my lips. “She’s gunna do it,” Rian said as he leaned in to watch. “Whatever she doesn’t eat, I want,” Jack said as he eyed all of the chocolate. I opened my mouth and took the first bite and was instantly overwhelmed with the flavor. That didn’t stop me though so I started chewing. Swallowing, I smiled at Alex. “Yum,” I said as I took another bite.

Fifteen minutes later I was down to the last bite. Zack was smiling as he watched. Matt was recording the entire thing on his phone. Then Rian, Jack, and Alex where chanting, “One more bite.” I felt sick to my stomach as I stared at the last piece of pancake on my fork.  I shook my head; no way was I going to finish it without vomiting in Jack’s lap. “No way are you backing out now,” Alex said as he leaned in closer from his end of the table. I looked up at him and sat up taller. “Suck it,” I said as I shoved the last bite into my mouth and forced it down. The guys all laughed and slapped me on the shoulder. I smiled at them and smirked at Alex who was grinning.

A pang of familiarity crashed on me, this was something I missed, just goofing off with them, not giving a care in the world. My smile faded a bit, but I shook the thought from my head. “I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to eat chocolate anything after that,” I said laughing lightly. The guys laughed and we all finished our breakfast.

We boarded the bus and continued our way to the first show that will be tomorrow night. I sat on the couch across from Zack while Jack was sitting on the “kitchen” counter. Rian and Alex were playing poker and Matt was watching the only TV on the bus.

I wanted to feel at home, I wanted to forget how mad and upset I felt towards them, I really did. But just sitting there watching as they all did their own things, I wanted to scream out, “What the fuck? How do you not remember me?”

Should I just tell them? Or wait for them to figure it out? Either way it wasn’t going to happen today.