Scars Of A Black Soul

Anxiety Is...

I'm scared to leave the house. Maybe it's because I'm not properly  dressed or that I'm deeply stressed. Maybe it's because I feel I've messed up so much already. My heart isn't beating steady and I'm just not ready. Maybe I just need to be heady. It seems to be the only way I can numb the pain. It's like having rain in your brain all day. It may seem okay at first, but eventually it destroys every ray of sun in it's way. It makes me feel like a stray from the rest of the world. I often find myself furled and curled away from the course of the human existence. There isn't much that is consistent, but it seems like so much is just weighing on my shoulders. I can practically feel the heavy boulders pressing down on my chest.

   It's hard to get rest these days, it seems sleep has the best of me. I'm trapped inside the nest of emotions and the nest of the hardest thing to deal with. Many say it's a myth that people just make up, just to disrupt everyone else's life. There are times I just want to grab that knife and kill anything in this rife. It's a dark abyss of anger, sadness, fear, madness, emotions, panic, and more. It's not a bore for you to use as an excuse. It's not something you lure into or want more of. It's something that doesn't let you take off the mask you wore to keep people from knowing what is actually going on inside. It's anxiety.