Good Girl Gone Bad Talks

Part 2

"Hello, lady."

"Hi, Lynn."

"Are you watching Merlin again?"

"Yeah."

"Oh hell no! Put on your pants, we are going out."

"Lynn, you know I'm lazy as fuck, can we not?"

My pants flew to my face.

"Put. This. On. My boys are waiting for me in city park."

"Great, you'll have company. I'm not going."

"Yes, you are. I already promised them they will meet you."

"Great, you probably want me to act like a good girl?"

"No, I want you to act like you are not antisocial bundle of hate which can kill with one look."

"But I am antisocial-whatever-you-said."

"Cmon, grandma."

"What is in it for me?"

"I'll buy you Captain's Cola and you can leave after 20 minutes if you want."

"Fine. Go find my makeup."

Lynn was my ex-roommate and somehow she liked me enough to stay my friend even after I bought my own apartment. She kind of adopted me. Without her I would probably lay in my bed most of my time.

"Where is your red lipstick?"

"In the bathroom. Left upper shelf."

"Found it!"

I was still in the process of putting on my pants, when she ran back in my bedroom, jumped in my bed and curled.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"There is a man in your kitchen."

"Yeah, his name is David and you know him."

"Do I? From where?"

"He's my cousin!"

"No, your cousin David is smaller and has less muscles."

"Not my fault that he works out."

"He's huge."

"Didn't notice."

"Why is he here?"

"Because he sleeps on my couch sometimes if he's too hammered to drive home."

"He's absolutely the biggest ma I have ever seen."

"Oh, please, Lynn. Stop overreacting. That's my job. And get out of my bed. You know that I have sex in there."

She almost catapulted her out of my sheets.

"Thank you for remembering me. Now I need to shower myself with bleach."

"Don't bother. Sheets are clean and I sleep alone for the last two months."

"Seriously? Should I call Guinness Book or someone?"

"You can ball your boys and tell them we'll be in city park in 20."

"There is no way we get there in 20."

"You're right. We'll be there in 5."

"Are you nuts... Wait, are you talking about driving your Ironman?"

"Yes, we are taking my motorcycle."