Borderline

Chapter 26

Death is a funny thing.

You never think that you're going to die until the few seconds or minutes before it happens. And even then, it might not cross your mind.

Some people see death as a prize at the end of a long road of suffering. That's how I see it.

Others see death as something that can only bring pain and grief. That's how Carter saw it.

Still others think that death won't happen to them for a while, and that they're in no danger of it. That's how Eli and Henry probably saw it.

When you're about to die, you might think about everything you didn't do but could have. Or everything you didn't do but should have. Or just the fact that your life is finally over and you can get some well deserved rest.

I wouldn't know.

I'm not dead yet.

***

I opened my eyes just in time to see Carter fall face first onto the pavement. He had a bullet hole right in the middle of his skull.

I looked up from his body to see Eli clutching his wounded shoulder and Joshua pointing a pistol at the place where Carter had just been standing.

I couldn't move. I had about a million emotions running through my head all at once.

I was ecstatic to see Joshua.

I was confused on how neither of them were dead.

I was a tad bit relieved I was still alive.

I was on the verge of tears because Carter was dead.

I was relieved because this was finally over.

Joshua sprinted over to me and hugged me so tightly I thought I was going to suffocate, but my eyes didn't move from Carter's body.

Joshua kissed me for the second time, but I didn't even blink.

Eli came over as fast as he could and wrapped his uninjured arm around my neck, smiling slightly, but I continued to keep my glazed eyes focused on Carter.

It didn't take the boys long to realize something wasn't right, and I heard the hum of Joshua whispering questions into my ear.

I finally decided to open the floodgates, and I felt hot tears run down my face. It didn't take long before I was sitting on the ground, silently crying my eyes out while continuing to stare at the body of my dead best friend.

That's something that would never change.

Carter Johnson had always been my best friend. Not even Joshua could replace him.

This was the worst feeling in the world.

I stayed seated on the hard pavement for what felt like hours, trying to calm myself down while Joshua and Eli watched from a distance. Joshua knew I wouldn't accept his help this time.

I sat there, thinking back on everything that had happened between me and Carter, trying desperately to remember the times before it all went wrong.

I remembered all of the play dates.

I remembered the sleepover where we trashed his living room and built a blanket fort and ate cookies until 1 o'clock in the morning.

I remembered the third grade camping trip when he forgot his tent and we shared mine.

I remembered how he comforted me when my parents died in the fire.

I remembered all the times he saved me from Olivia.

I remembered when he asked me to the Valentine's Day dance in 5th grade.

I remembered how I said yes.

I remembered that, that night, Carter had become my first kiss.

I remembered the night when I pulled the trigger of my rifle and shot his brother from the top of a building.

With each of these memories came a new wave of tears, and by the time I reached the memory of his brother, I was out of tears to cry.

Taking into consideration all of the other funny things in life and death, friends have to be near the top of that list.

I felt a hand on my back and I made a sound of surprise. I looked up to see Joshua standing behind me.

"Ryder. It's time to go." I nodded slowly, and he helped me up.

But just as we started walking, I ran back over and threw myself at Carter. I held his head in my arms and felt a new batch of tears form from somewhere.

"Please...just wake up," I whispered. "You can't do this to me, Cat. P-Please..."