Im not sure if I could call today a good day. I think I got noticed more today yet im not sure. They all act as if im a freak still. As if im so different from all the others, I dress like them, I wear converse, I wear makeup exactly like all of them, acting fake. They dont know that though. No one truly knows how much I try. Its more than you'd think
Even though today I wasnt really sure how it was I still hated it, I still felt the sadness from every day. Im not sure how happy ill be at the beginning of this summer. Will I be happy once I dont have to see all those people? Or will it be sad for a long while with no one there to notice, the feeling of being alone. Not wanting to go to the store afraid of them being there. The butterflies whenever I go near a store hoping my mom doesn't turn in. Fearing that people from school shall be there.
These people are making me fall into a deep deep ditch that im afraid never will end. Maybe it doesn't have a bottom, ill just fall to the end of the Earth.
Right now I lay here on the couch, in the middle of my family, wondering if any of them notice me at the rim of crying. I feel like an odd one out in my family, I dont belong. They all belong together apart from me. I dont fit in. Im different. I know last names shouldn't matter when your in a family but to me it does, when I do go to family reunions I know I dont belong. They all look at me as if im different, but they all only know the fake part of me, not the real. I guess no one does.
I dont think I can live in this shallow universe anymore, not being able to talk to anyone whatsoever about how im feeling at this point, or any point of the day. I want to just die. Only god really knows how I feel at this point I suppose. Would my family and "friends" even notice. Im guessing they would just laugh, I think I may give up soon I hate the fear of hitting the ground and the pitch black surrounding me. Not knowing what id going on is killing me. Im almost done.
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Sorry they are short chapters! Along with the sadness or depression, im sorry.
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Everyday Was A Mystery Till I Met You
Teen FictionEvery day Alexandra wrote entries in a book to try and let out her feelings and her stories but she didn't know if it was enough. She prayed for a friend just to be there, yet no one was. Alexandra felt alone and sad, everyday the struggle with bull...
