Distanced By Fate, Mended With LOVE..

6. The Troubling Thoughts

Not edited.

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Naaz, you okay?

One single sight of his, perspired her in ways she couldn't understand. Each time she dared to have a look at him, her mind only whispered the unspoken words of his, from her dreams.

I love you, Naaz.

Nazia was ashamed and frozen. That she had no control over her deranged thoughts as they began to hover over her senses. Yet she met his intense gaze with her broad and titillating eyes.

Tall and broad as he stood, she found him attractive. Maybe just a little more than that. His light brown eyes at first appeared tender, deeply soothing, inviting her to dive in them and just relax. But as she kept her eyes lingering at his, she could only feel her senses intensifying.

The strong shoulders, the built up arms did stir her little. His tall nose and light brown eyes were the same as she had imagined in her dream. The mole at the end of his brow and the sight of his lips made her flinch.

"I hope you are fine."

She found his gaze still and glued, raising temperatures inside her. She was parched. Her thoughts taking the carnal route.

Afraid that she would be caught with her thoughts, she looked away immediately. But couldn't hold for long. She was back at stealing glances at his form with no idea of this feeling that was so novel to her. Getting attracted to a man was different but salivating at the sight of one was what scared her more.

She was hysterical.

"My name's Yousuf Khan."

Nazia could feel her ears heating up with the mention of his name in the same husky voice of his. She couldn't look up at him again as his hand waited for her to join hers. Under his presence, she felt herself as no more than a motionless body.

He inched forward. Her heart raced more. The thumping inside her brain only grew stronger.

She knew she couldn't trust her messed up self anymore.

And hence, she walked away.

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Nicky walked hastily on her foot to match up with Nazia's pace.

"Naaz, you okay?"

"Don't!"

Standing in the middle of the great hall, Nazia's voice boomed. She turned around and glared sharply at her friend. Her palm stopped Nicky from speaking further.

"Don't ever ask me that!"

Pointing her index at Nicky, her tears already pooled inside her eyes, ready to well down her cheeks. Nazia dared Nicky to ever ask her again if she was okay. She abhorred her own thoughts.

It all began with one question. It was all in that one question that disrupted her sanity.

Naaz, you okay?

Or was it really just a question?

Her legs couldn't hold her up for long. She couldn't run as she had planned, instead finding a cushioned deewan set neatly, she dragged herself to it and plopped over it. Silence was what Nazia needed at the moment to get a grasp on herself.

"I made a fool of myself there!" After much of pondering, Nazia finally spoke.

Nicky stayed seated beside her, trying to understand the emotions that were spinning around Nazia and act accordingly. This was a sensitive matter and she didn't want to goof up. It was her friend's life and sanity at stake after all.

"I don't belong around people."

"It's okay Naaz. It was nothing. I'm sure he won't mind." Nicky held her. Maybe a little comforting would make things easy for her.

"You don't get it Nicky. It's not easy for me."

Nazia couldn't share her thoughts with anybody, about the intense feelings that had been running inside her brain since the time she met this man first. She had always been like this. Very good at keeping her secrets to herself and never jeopardizing with her deep rooted morality.

"Trust me Naaz. I know.

I know what you need at the moment. You just need to have some air and you'll be fine." Trying to ease away the tension inside Nazia's mind, Nicky took her upstairs where they could breathe some fresh air in the balcony.

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"Yeh Ishq nahi aasan, itna samajh lijiye..
Ek aag ka darya hai aur doob ke jaana hai.."

Witnessing the scene as Nazia sprinted out of the door, Maira Khan observed the concealed sting on her brother's face and so recited the famous Urdu couplet like a song.

"Stop it, please." Yousuf couldn't help but chuckle at his little sister's timing of quoting the Urdu couplet. He smiled away all his worries and tapped at her shoulder. He was amazed how she never failed to leave a chance to try and bring a smile on his face.

"Table's set. Move your feet. Mummy's already waiting."

Maira Khan forwarded the message from her mother. Her voice and attitude matching their mother's. Dressed in a neatly ironed Salwar Kameez with only studs as accessories, she was called the spitting image of her mother, the same elegance and poise protruded out of her.

"And Bhai. I'm happy she's back." Maira smiled back at her brother. She was young but she was well aware of his ordeal.

"She's only here till dinner."

"..for today. Tomorrow, she might be here again. And then one day will come, when she'll be here to stay forever.

I am sure about it."

The only thing that differed her from her mother was the positive outlook she had towards life. Being innocent and young then, saved her from the trials and horrors of the past that was bestowed upon her family. All that she knew was only hearsay about how and when her parents had separated. She was only three and hence oblivious of the traces of the past; the scars on her mother's body did fade away gradually, as she grew older and older.

She was fifteen when her only brother had gotten married to the loveliest bride she had ever seen. A couple years in, she and her sister-in-law were more like siblings to each other. She had found a true friend in Nazia who understood her adolescence and treated and respected her and her ideas the same as the adults, very unlike her mother and brother.

"Let me put some sense into him." Was how Nazia always assured her whenever her brother did reject her idea or opposed her for doing something. It was only two summers ago when Nazia somehow had convinced Yousuf and Sharmeen to let Maira study psychology as they were more keen in admitting her into business school instead.

At home Maira was only comfortable around Nazia with her little gossip and bickering. She would share all the whispers, and spicy rumours of her school with Nazia. After Nazia was gone, it was almost like she had nobody to talk to at home. And she did miss her dearly. More to that, she missed her brother and his cheerful smile terribly too. She was young but she could see how lost and distant her brother had turned. Hence, every time she crossed his way, bringing a smile on his face was always what she aimed for.

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Amreen