Melted

Part IV

4 a.m.

The alarm rings, validating its existence. Validating that reality exists. Validating that it's still annoying. Eyes still closed, I lift Jason's arm from my chest and rest it where I should be. He is now a sole line, an indentation still left from where I fit into him. His body is warm on my back, feeling now open wound. I roll over to push the snooze button on the clock, grinding the dried sand from my eyes. Grabbing the envelope of money from the nightstand Jason left before he passed out, I then proceed to put on my clothes to leave.

"Babe where are you going" he groaned, voice chipped and cracked from sleep.

"I gotta go to school, even though your ass didn't let me sleep last night" I say slinging my bookbag on my back.

"Yesterday was tight, when are you gonna be free next?"

His breath was stained with remnants of vodka and whiskey. He burned his consciousness, smithereens of my body lingering on his tongue. I am ash clouding his eyes, soon to be gone with the restoration of his mind. The mind doesn't see memories as necessity, punctured by shots, it doesn't see indulgence as vital. It blurs the recollections so that it only seen as sensations. I am only a sensation. The human body always finds a way to fix itself, even if that means extraction. At least it's not coke or heroin. In their eyes, I become vacant aftertaste, air in the holes of their brain, the absence of blood in another vein popped.

It's okay tho', even if the head on his shoulders doesn't remember me, I sure know as hell know that the one in his pants will.

"Later Jason, later." I whisper in his ear.

"Ight then, later Alex."

Who is Alex? My name is Darius. Why does he keep on calling me Alex. Yesterday in bed that was the only name he murmured. Fuck! My neck and ears are on fire. Who is Alex? I he cheating on me? Wait we aren't even together so why does it feel like I am being betrayed? Why does I feel like he is stabbing me in between my ribs? I'm getting nauseous. You know what, he's just a client. I don't care. It's done.

As I walk to the door, he is in my throat. Muscles white knuckle, holding on to my naïveté, my body is on vibrate. Head warm water, trickling into my ears, pressing against my skull. I squeeze my eyes shut so I could hear Jason breathing. Hear Alex breathing. Hear the echo of Alex's fingerprints on Jason's chest. Hear the memory of their hearts resonating symphonies on the walls. Are they the same as ours? I hear only my heart. Pleading it's pitiful mantra. I'm damned I'm damned I'm damned. I clamp my teeth together, so no one could hear my thoughts leaking out of my mouth. I clamp my teeth because I can't shut my eyes hard enough for liquid not to scorch riverbeds into my cheeks. But it's okay. It feels like his hands, so I'm okay. I open my eyes and smile towards the door.

One step in front of me. I laugh. I was so close. Now I'm going to ruin his hardwood floor.

To be continued