How do you continue to go through life when every one doubts you, they Overlook you, they think that you are less, that you are not capable. what do you do when years upon years of negativity bring you down and you start to believe that You are as useless as they say. you wonder why you are the outlier, the talentless, the waste of space.
I have Had these feelings from a young age, yet it took One Day to break my negative Assumptions about myself. I find it Aweing that one moment can change your life and your prior beliefs in a second. My life Changing Day started as any others day. My father made the morning meal of fruit, cheese and meat with Dried Oats on the side. We had the visual communicator On, Mother liked to listen to the Daily News every morning before going to her average, level Job of craftsmanship. she is a skilled painter and is in the top 40% for the Intectual skill test or better known as the I.S.T. She did not make it into the talented class, but she is held highly in the Average class. I Was interrupted with my thoughts when the visual communicator , or VC, starter to flash red.
"warning, Breaking news there has been a mistake in the Intellectual skill test" My parents looked at each other.
" test takers from the year 3205 to Year 3208 Must retake there intellectual test."
my family looked at me and gasp, year 3206 was my test taking year. I stared down at my plate. I clenched my fist as the anger built. this will just be another instance where I will fail. I have always been a failure. At my learning center when I was younger my instructors would send multiple notes home, because I would always daydream and would never pay attention, yet my marks would be high; they always thought I was cheating and they never believed that I was not. My parents listened to them and I was a lays doing extra chores, and had many days filled with punishments. Soon I stopped caring and purposely did average on practicals to end all of the punishments over my alleged cheating. My instructors were surprised I Made it into the top 50%.
"Oh honey you have a second chance you could be Just like your sib-" She was interrupted by my hand slamming on table. I stood up and shouted
"Stop! Mother Do not get your hopes up you know that I will be a Disappointment" I shooed my head and chuckled.
"you already gave up on me Don't start believing in me now"
I left my family in a shell shocked daze and began to walk in my favorite spot in the wooded area behind my home. It was a old bear cave long forgotten and I made it into my little home. I hid the mouth of cave by growing bushes and vines. the cave had a smaller alcove were I kept a mat and blankets. the bigger cave had a fire pit in middle a old foldable table with a small veining Screen On top along with Knick knacks I have acquire over the years. on One side there was a shelf filled with Old paper reading relics.
I sat Down on my mat a screamed into my hands this was not supposed to happen I the average out of my sibling I was the out liar. I was the middle child. My parents labored 12 hours for my brother and sister Saffaron and Sarapiece. there efforts were worth it because my two older siblings were a the top of their class by year 3 and their I.S.T. Scores are in the upper 20% Range.
My siblings made it into the talented class by the age Of ten. My parents were averages so it was luck to have 2 talented children. than after the years they had me. when I was younger I showed promise of being a talented as well But I scored in the 50 I was barely avenge. And to add more salt my younger brother Tactin was in the top 30%, and the baby, little Esterline was tested at year 8 and was in the top 10%. All but one child got into the talented class and I was a blot in their track record. I started to feel hot tears run Down my face I had no hope I knew my 50% was a fluke I will score into the bottom class because Enecia Sterling is and will always be a failure.
