Short Stories

The Blank Book

I just came home from my solo trip to Batanes. I have to sigh because I miss the place already. I've been there three times in the past two years but I still keep coming back. Because why not? Until now, I still cannot think of a word to completely describe it. To say that it's beautiful is an understatement.

The first time I visited Batanes was when I broke up with Dan, my boyfriend of six years. Well, you could just imagine my state that time. I was inconsolable and just pretty messed up. My co-workers think I'm going crazy, my family think I'm depressed, my friends thought I'm already crazy. I have to agree I was an inch closer to losing my mind. The thing is, I thought he was the one. Guess what, I was the 'other one'.

Ha! Love surely fucked me up.

So, on the 6th day of our break-up, my lady boss finally confronted me during one of my crying spells.

"Miss Jimenez, when are you ever gonna stop crying?" She asked, obviously annoyed.

"Sorry ma'am, hindi ko lang po talaga mapigilan. Ang sakit-sakit po kasi." I answered promptly, unable to contemplate my choice of words considering that I'm talking to my boss.

"Tumigil ka na ha. Hindi ka na nakakatuwa. You're disturbing your co-workers! Aren't you supposed to be working? Stop facebooking!" She reprimanded me after seeing my computer screen which showed the facebook page of my ex-boyfriend with his new girlfriend.

"Ma'am, they're engaged!" Umiyak ako nang napakalakas kaya nagsitayuan ang ibang katrabaho ko para makiusyoso.

"Miss Jimenez, will you calm down?! You're causing a scene!"

"Sorry po. Hindi niyo po kasi ako naiintindihan." Sagot ko pero umiiyak pa rin ako. Some of my close friends at work started to console me pero wa-epek. My boss, after realizing something, gave out a deep sigh.

"Ganito na lang. Why don't you take a break, Miss Jimenez? For a week, maybe." Suggest niya.

"Talaga po?"

"Yes. Pero gusto ko pagbalik mo wala na akong maririnig na iyak o reklamo galing sa mga katrabaho mo or else I will fire you."

"May nag-reklamo po?"

"Ay wala, tuwang-tuwa nga sila sa 'yo." She answered in a sarcastic note.

"Sorry po." I wiped my tears.

"What are you waiting for? Alis na! Now!" She said with great authority which caused me to jump at my seat and quickly gather my things.

So, ayon na nga, that night I booked a flight to Batanes. Kahit mahal, binook ko na. Hindi na ako nag-alok. Gusto kong mapag-isa. Chos, mag-isa naman talaga ako.

During the flight, iyak ako nang iyak. Nakakahiya pero hindi ko talaga mapigilan. The flight attendant kept asking me if I'm okay at parang gusto ko siyang ihulog sa bintana at sigawan ng: 'Kung okay ba ako, iiyak ba ako?! 'Wag kang shunga teh!'

I found myself crying the whole trip. Kung hindi naman ako umiiyak ay tulala naman ako. Naweweirdohan na nga sa 'kin 'yong ibang tourmates ko. Kebs lang. Pake ba nila? Sila kaya ang iwan sa ere.

On the second day of my stay in Batanes, I was feeling a bit better. We visited this Blank Book Archive. It's a library full of blank books where people can write anything. I immediately fell in love with the concept. Nagpaiwan na ako doon. Ilang oras akong nagbasa ng sulat ng iba. Some of them were sad stories, some were super funny. Luckily, I brought my colored pens. I answered some of them. I looked and I found a book na wala pang sulat and I owned it for the day. Maghapon akong nagsulat ng heartaches ko, mala-novela teh ang haba and for some reason gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. My last entry in the book was a promise that I'll come back. When I finished writing, I kept the book in a corner where people can't easily find it. I marked the book so I would recognize it when I come back.