To Love a Stray

Chapter 21

For those readers who have asked how far along Rosy is in her pregnancy the answer is 30 weeks give or take a day. That means she has 10 weeks until the baby or should I say Kitt is due.

I will add a quick note for those who keep complaining about my use of the word yous. In Australia this word is often used as a plural of you when 2 or more people are involved and in times of stress Rosy tends to fall back into the poor grammar of her childhood.

Mygypsy

　

Rosy’s story:

I feel numb and strangely detached as I stare at my hands where they are clasped in my lap. I am aware of the movement of the vehicle I am in, but it fails to disturb me as I am taken further and further away from where I once lived. I know I should protest, that I should fight, but the voice urging me to fight is a very faint whisper in the back of my mind. A large hand comes into my line of vision and clasps one of my hands gently, the fingers firmly interlacing with mine.

I don’t move. I don’t react. I feel his touch but it means nothing to me. I don’t turn my head to look at him. It would have no meaning for me if I did. The wrongness of it fills me. The wrong tom, and heading in the wrong direction. I reach out with my mind seeking comfort and reassurance but I come up against a wall of anger and hurt. Anguish so deep it bleeds through into me and I squeeze my eyes shut against the tears that well in them burning fiercely. Pain burns in my chest like a raw wound. Each breath, each heartbeat, sending a throb of agony through me.

I’ve been hurt before, but never something as soul destroying as this. My chest burns and there is a buzzing in my ears and I gasp in pain. Oxygen flows into my lungs and blood stream making me realise I had been holding my breath. I become aware of a voice murmuring quietly to me, arms cradling me gently against another body. Horror shoots through me, No! I won’t think about her…it!

I blink as I focus on the eyes watching me with concern, the brown quickly becomes a dirty green and the golden flecks loose their clearness and brightness until a mottled grey/ green remains.

"Breathe Rosy, breathe," His breath brushes the hair at my temple and I blink as I turn my face away from his and into his chest. His scent is all wrong. It’s not the one I crave, the one I need. I close my eyes and inhale deeply forcing myself to memorise the personal smell but another flows through my mind and I press the knuckles of one hand to my mouth to stop my scream of pain.

I pull my mind and consciousness from the depths of my soul and shudder as her screams of pain rips through me. Claws rend and shred, sharp teeth bite and tear while her feline form writhes in agony. She fights my control, snarls and screeches at me but I am relentless. She refuses to submit and I am left staring into her vivid violet eyes.

He is mine …

I see the black form she flashes at me. I recognise him instantly. I remember him in human form, the emotion in his eyes as he spoke to me. His personal scent, what it felt like to be held by him, the sound of his voice. Gently, regretfully, I remember him turning away, his doubts, his insecurities, his lack of trust and faith in me.

Micah!

Her cry of disbelief ripples through me followed by her low moan of loss.

We loved him!

Her thought fills my mind as she accepts he turned away from us.

You loved him. I knew we could trust no-one. I can only rely on myself. No one else will keep me safe. I learnt that long ago. I tell her silently.

You never trusted him to keep us safe! She accuses. You never gave him the chance!

I see her disgusted look before she turns away and retreats to a dark corner of my mind. I feel her curl up in a tight little ball pulling her tail up around her body as if it is a shield she can use to separate us. She’d been so quiet and peaceful for so many months I had almost forgotten this power struggle between us. I had even conned myself into believing she was content with the way I let her emerge so frequently even though I control her every move most of the time.