To Love a Stray

Chapter 26 pt 1

Rosy's story:

Contractions run through my body and terror runs through my mind. I don’t want this kitt, this tool of control that has been forced on me. There is no break between contractions, one rolls into the next without pause. Fear and desperation run hand in hand with the movement I feel deep within me. I gasp for a quick breath before bearing down again. A quick burst of pain, burning and stretching beyond my limits. Another contraction hits before I can manage more than a quick gasp for breath as I push again. Pain burst forth anew, even greater, and then I feel something slide free from my body taking the pain with it.

I gasp in the aftermath before turning my head to look behind me. A naked blood smeared pink thing wriggles and waves tiny arms and legs and I look at it with shock and disbelief. I am not sure what I think, what I feel for a few moments. A soft mewl comes from the newborn kitt, faint at first but the second cry is much clearer and stronger.

Conflicting emotions rise within me. The urge to care for my newborn springs to life but so does resentment. I have no doubt that Wade meant for this kitt to force me to conform to what he saw as the role in life a female werecat should have, the role of breeder. Everyone’s concern for the welfare of the kitt before it’s birth, my own welfare seeming to be of second concern. And when I was intent on not being involved with Micah the main concern everyone seemed to have was that the kitt stayed a part of the Williamson clan.

I shake my head and look away from the kitt. I know my own fears and insecurities must have coloured my feelings and the way I saw things but still … what I had thought and felt had been the way things seemed to me. No matter how warped and twisted everyone else thought my feelings were. It was the way I had felt and I had the right to my own thoughts and feelings as much as anyone else.

The kitt begins crying in earnest and I turn my head to look at it with an annoyed hiss. Unaffected the kitt continues to cry, arms and legs are waved with increasing desperation and I eye it silently. I know this little creature is innocent in all this, it didn’t ask to be conceived. I eye the umbilical cord attached to his stomach, yes definitely a boy and turn to my first aide case. I find what I want and open the sterile packets with my teeth. I use clamps to pinch the cord tightly before cutting my son free with a sterile blade. A small hand catches hold of my pinkie finger and I tense as he stops crying. My hand is pulled towards his mouth and he begins to suck on the tip of my finger vigorously, his face scrunches up and he begins crying once again as I pull my finger from his grasp.

A pang of guilt shoots through me at his cries and I reach out to stroke his cheek, he stops crying to turn his head, mouth open, searching. I jerk my hand away and stare at him uneasily, every now and then I glance away before looking at him again. I long to pick him up and at the same time feel resentment towards him so I end up just easing myself into a comfortable position and eyeing him unhappily.

I give a slight shiver as the morning air cools the sweat on my body. I tense then look at the kitt where he lays covered in and surrounded by amniotic fluid, I see him shiver and frown. I hesitate a moment then reach out and pick him up awkwardly, I hold him at arms length for a few moments before bringing him closer to me.

"Body warmth," I mutter to myself. I place him on the bed between my knees, pull my t-shirt up and tuck it beneath my chin exposing my bare skin. I lift the kitt, less awkwardly this time and hold him against myself with one hand as I use the other hand to pull my t-shirt down covering his little body as well as my own. He wriggles and I feel him slip a few inches before I get both arms around him to hold him more securely.

He turns his head and rubs his face against my chest, he nudges against my breast for a moment then he opens his mouth wide as if knowing I have no idea what I am doing. He takes my nipple into his mouth and I feel his lips move as he begins to suck. I gasp and flinch as a strange sensation assails me, he drinks and I lean against my pillows, I hold him close as I expel the afterbirth.