Almost Normal

Chapter 25

A/N- I know that you all probably hate me for not updating, and I could give out a shitty excuse and say that I was "busy," but honestly I just couldn't write. It was a constant battle of either having inspiration but no motivation, or having motivation but no inspiration. I just had to push this chapter out of my body, but after getting to write the ending of it, I finally feel like I'm back in my groove. I'll say it again, I'm so so sorry to keep you guys waiting. And also a huge thank you for getting this story to over 19K, that's so freaking amazing you guys! I love you all so much and will try not to go off the grid again. So, without any more waiting, here's chapter 25. Happy Reading!-Zenovia

Armin's POV

Chapter 25

Sometimes, silence speaks volumes. The words that you're desperately trying to push out of your body, is trapped in the stuffy atmosphere that surrounds you. It's awkward, and it feels like it's going to last for an eternity, and so many different emotions are rushing through your bloodstream that you don't know what to think. The thoughts in your head are clouding your judgment and the only thing that you can keep in track, is the constant pounding of your heart that is ringing through your body because the silence, well, it's deadly.

We lock eyes, and it almost feels like my heart stops. I don't even understand how in God's name I was able to utter any words to him, but my heart took over the matter, just like it always does. He doesn't say anything for the longest time, and I'm almost worried that I dreamed all of this. That when I blink, I'll still be in that white room for the rest of my days, but luckily he fumbles around with what looks like to be my phone.

His hands are shaking. Eren's hands have never shook in front of me before. The sight is actually a little unsettling, but I guess he does have a justified reason as to why he's quaking in his boots. I glance at him once again and feel my eyes stare a little too long than I'd care to admit. Now that I'm alive, I start to really take in the events of what put me in this situation in the first place. I bite my lip, and try to take a deep breath. So many feelings are making my body feel almost numb, so I try to concentrate on my breathing instead of dwelling on the obnoxious elephant in the room.

I raise my eyebrows at him, "You know, for just waking up from trying to kill myself, it's probably not the best idea to be snooping on my phone. You've already lost a lot of my trust as is."

I know that it's a harsh thing to say, but this isn't something that we can put on the backburner and not discuss. I realize that Eren probably knows that he fucked up, but if there's any hope of trying to sew this mess of a friendship back to a wearable state, then the both of us need to take some of the blame for the events that happened a few nights ago.

Eren stutters on his words as he fumbles to put the phone back onto the bedside table, "I-I wasn't...it's your grandfather, he's on his way over to see you I think." He finally drops his gaze from my eyes and the tension in the room grows with each passing second. He's waiting for me to explode like I did in the rain. It looks as if he's hoping it will happen because I think deep down, Eren regrets everything that night, and probably holds himself accountable for my choice of using a razor to get what I wanted.

But I don't want to talk to him right now, hell I don't want to give him the time of day at this point. I know what emotion I'm feeling right now, and it's anger, frustration, and even just a dash of hate. I hate him right now because he put me in here, but yet I still long for him. He still makes me feel...something. I don't know what it is, but it sets my body on edge and I just want to shut myself closed from him. I hate that my heart still pounds and I gaze at him for longer than normal.