Almost Normal

Chapter 17

A/N- Heyoo!! Sorry that I haven't been active in the past week or so. I just started school again >.< and I have been working like crazy, but I love all of the little comments and predictions that you guys are having for this story! And also, I hit 3K on this story?!? Wow I love all of you! Without further waiting, here is chapter 17! Happy Reading! -Zenovia

Armin's POV

Chapter 17

My notebook has been my main focus for the past three weeks. My schoolwork has drastically lightened over time, so I've had a lot of free time to just curl up in my dorm and write my feelings out on the lined paper in front of me. Eren's been at basketball practice for the majority of his free time, so I've barely seen him in these weeks. I'm not mad that I haven't seen him or anything, it's just I've been a little lonely. I love being able to be by myself for a little while, but when it starts to elongate it's time, that's when I start to feel depressed again. The walls around me seem to cave in, and I feel small and trapped. In Eren's absence, I've started to take my antidepressants again; just in case. For some reason however, they don't work as well as they did before. Eren was always my source of happiness in this darkened world, so I stopped taking some of my meds after I met him. Eren doesn't even know that I take the addictive drugs. He's my own form of serotonin. So every time I take my daily dose of Zoloft, I feel a little incomplete. 

Although, I know for certain I will see Eren on Friday night. He has his first basketball game, and all of the squad is coming to see him play. In the times that I do get to see Eren, basketball is all he can talk about. He's been getting extremely better at making layups and blocking. "It's amazing Armin! The other guys on the team have really been helping me out. Especially Levi. I'm pretty sure he can make it to the NBA's with his skill and technique." I smile when he rants about the sport, but for some odd reason, I feel a twinge of jealousy rush through my body whenever Eren talks about Levi. Ever since the first day I met the raven haired boy, I still get the feeling that I know him somehow. A shiver runs down my spine whenever I think about his cold grey eyes, looking back at my ocean blue ones. But at the end of the day, I try and shake all of these feelings off, and focus on what makes me happy. 

In Eren's absence, I've also been hanging out with Marco and Jean a lot more. I recently told the pair about my feelings for the emerald eyed boy, and they both swore that they would never utter  a single word to him. "So how long have you liked him?" Marco asked me while I was hanging out at their apartment. I try and think back to when I met Eren, "Uh, probably the middle of August, and now it's almost February, so about six months." Jean squinted his eyes a little. "And he still doesn't know how you feel?" He asked. I shrugged my shoulders, "Nope. Trust me, I want to tell him, it's just everytime that I get close, I chicken out. Plus, I never know what to say." I look at the floor from embarrassment. Jean scratches the back of his neck before saying, "Maybe you don't have to tell him."  I look up, and stare into his hazel eyes. "What? I'm not following what you're trying to say." I tell him. Jean sighs, "What I'm trying to say is that you write about Eren a lot, right?" I nod my head and furrow my brows in confusion. "Well, maybe when you think you're ready to tell him, just give him the notebook. If it really shows how much you love him in there, then you won't have to say anything." Jean concludes. I stare at him in awe. Why hadn't I thought of that? "T-That might possibly work. Thanks Jean!" He just smirks at me and playfully rolls his eyes, "No problem, Armin." 

After hanging out with Jean and Marco for a few more hours, I decide that I should probably go back and study. I bid the two goodbye, and walk out into the chill air. I pull my coat around me tighter and I start the walk back to my dorm. After a little bit of silent walking, I take out my headphones and plug them into my phone. I put on the song "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol. It describes my predicament perfectly with every new verse. Telling Eren that I love him is going to be one of the hardest things that I've done, but to willingly give him my notebook; containing all of my feelings for him, is going to be even harder. It's been six months already since I've met the brunette. I chuckle a little at how time has flown right in front of me. It seems like we met just yesterday.