I don't know why I am here.
I was raised right, I swear. I was taught to accept and help others. Never to cheat on a woman. Et Cetera. I have done what I see is right. I try to be there and help other people when they ask. I've never cheated. Et Cetera.
Everything is falling apart. I walk with my head to the ground because I cannot look at the faces that surround me, the ones who are ashamed of me. I feel guilty for decisions that I see as good in the end.
Am I to betray my feelings of right and wrong? Because if I do not, I will further be the freak, the asshole, the fuck up.
I didn't ask to be like this. I didn't intend to hurt anyone, to cause such pain to the only ones I care about. I just want to be the reason you keep on keeping on, not the reason that you want to die. Yet when I try to do you right, it is still wrong. I just want to not hate myself every day, I just want to end my week feeling like I've helped many people. My being here is the bane of your existence, and many others.
I feel this cold blade press firmly against my neck. How much more should I push for it to be over? Until the dark stream trickles off of the edge, through my hands, and onto the floor. Nobody is going to notice my absense, they will simply forget I ever existed. I'm just, all in all, a detriment to you, and everyone else. You will be happier and healthier without me.
