Window Games

Chapter 7

A/N: I was a little iffy about posting this now, seeing as I really only have edits from one beta when I used to have 3, but I wanted to get this chapter out before I actually go to Italy (I'm supposed to be at the airport in 6 hours, so I guess I'm cutting it close).

Anyway, chapter 8 is finished and just waiting for editing/revising suggestions, so if anyone wants to help me out and get a sneak preview as bonus, I'd love you forever!

~Saya

~*~

This time, Gilbert spotted Lovino again only a few days after the latest mishap. It didn't seem like the Italian was doing any better than when they'd parted ways, but then, who was he to judge? Clearly, he had no idea what was going through the other's head.

No, that wasn't fair to Lovino. He'd made it clear that he didn't want more with Gilbert. It wasn't his fault that he smiled so enticingly and looked so beautiful when he was happy.

Gilbert stepped back from the window, his shoulders slumping. He was starting to think that he shouldn't look outside anymore. If it was just going to keep causing this kind of pain...

He dressed quickly and headed to work, hoping that he could at least keep his mind off things. Lately, he'd been taking trips to check out even the most obvious of computer problems. It was a waste of time, sure, but he needed to do something. He was surprised that he hadn't gotten in trouble for it yet, but that could have something to do with Matthew. His coworker had always had his back, and this was no exception. He'd have to find some way to repay him.

The thought was just fading to the back of his mind as he entered the office and flopped into his seat. Matthew arrived just a few minutes later, and Gilbert greeted him with a wan smile. He just didn't have the energy to do much more right now.

Instead of smiling back, Matthew frowned. He didn't speak for a few moments, choosing to gather his thoughts as he took his seat. Finally, he turned to Gilbert again, drawing his attention away from the startup screen of his computer.

"This guy is really wearing you out," he commented finally, "I mean, look at you. You used to be the liveliest guy I know, but now it seems like you're struggling to get out of bed in the morning. Is he really worth that?"

The question made Gilbert pause. Lovino made him react in ways that no one else had ever quite managed, but Matthew had a point. If he'd thought it wasn't fair to blame Lovino for his own attractiveness, why should Lovi blame him for his interest? He sighed softly, rubbing a hand over his face.

"I don't know. I thought he liked me...And last time I saw him, he seemed so...It was so easy, and we both seemed happy. But then I fucked up and kissed him..." he replied finally, the words rushing out before he could think about them much. They brought back the ache in his chest, but by now it had dulled into something he could live with if he had to. "Whatever else he's up for, it's not a relationship with me."

Matthew listened steadily, his expression sympathetic. He didn't have any more difficult questions for Gilbert when he finished. He did, however, have a few words of advice.

"Maybe you should talk to Francis."

That surprised Gilbert. Still, he should have thought of it earlier. Francis was his friend, Matthew's cousin, Arthur's boyfriend, and their "resident expert" on love. Maybe he would be the best person to talk to about the confusing tangle of emotions that had settled heavily in his stomach.

"Yeah, okay," he agreed after a few moments, "I'll call him after work."

With that settled, it was a bit easier for him to focus on his tasks for the day instead of being so distracted by his emotions.