Ninja Love: Saizo Kirigakure

Chapter 31

Falling, falling, falling. That's all it is. It's pitch black here, I can't even see my hands as they reach out in front of me to grasp at something, anything, that will slow or stop my descent.
A face appears above me: the smug face of the blue ninja. No, now it's Akumo. It's changing to all the people out to get me. The thieves, the samurai,the ninja, Akumo, Nobukatsu, Nobunaga... Saizo?
No, it can't be.
"But it is, Misaki. All you've ever been to any of us is a burden. You think we actually cared about you?" The sneering face of Saizo mocks me, his green eyes spark with anger and hatred.
"How could you have been so stupid? That's all you've ever been, an ignorant, useless, pampered child that never should have left Kawachinokuni."
No. The tears fall freely from my face now, but I can still see clearly. There are figures, floating in the darkness; all the people I've ever disappointed.
Grandfather, Hanzo, Saizo, the darkened outlines of those who I know to be my mother and father.
I have failed them all.
I am still falling, surrounded by the disappointed stares and murmurings of all the people who have ever mattered to me. Their voices are quiet, but their words are deafening.
All of a sudden, I stop falling. I am on my back, and there is a blade protruding from my chest. A very real pain washes over me only moments later, and I cry out, but my voice fails me. Instead, my voice is replaced by the voices of all of those I have killed or watched die, all the way from the small restaurant at the beginning of my quest to the samurai I stabbed who-knows-how-long ago.
Laughing, all of them are laughing. I writhe in pain, but the blade remains firmly planted in my chest. It begins to grow larger, and now I am no bigger than a piece of meat on a skewer. There is someone holding the blade on which I am impaled.
"Saizo... Why would you do this to me?" More tears come, and I want t o press my eyes closed to block out Saizo's superimposed smirk, but I can't. I am forced to watch as he lets out a sickening laugh, carrying with it a stench like that of Akumo's breath.
"I already told you, Misaki. You've been nothing but a burden from the start."
-
My eyes flew open and I gasped. I tried to sit upright, but a dull ache in my chest flared into a fiery sensation that forced me flat onto my back again.
All I could hear for a few moments was a distinct ringing and the sound of my pounding heart and rapid breathing, but as I focused on the ceiling and quelling the burning pain on my chest, I became acutely aware of someone calling my name.
"Misaki? Misaki! Master Saizo, she's awake!"
I groaned, turning my aching head and squinting to find whoever was making those obscenely loud noises.
"Chiyo?" I met the eyes of the smiling servant girl, still not entirely sure if I was alive or dead.
Misaki, be reasonable. Death shouldn't hurt this much, and why would the gods put you in an afterlife with people you know, much less in the room you used at Iga's temple?
I sighed, closing my eyes again for a moment to collect my thoughts. The last thing I remembered was passing out, and then having that awful dream.
My eyes opened again, and I smiled weakly at Chiyo. "How long was I unconscious for?"
"About three days. You had lost a lot of blood, but thankfully Master Saizo got you here before you bled to death. However, you had a rough time of recovering. Infection set in rather quickly, and our medics think the blade that the Hachisuka ninja slashed you with was poisoned. Obviously, you lived-"
Chiyo's confusing rambling was cut short when a large hand was place on her shoulder. I craned my head upwards, trying to see over the servant girl's shoulder, but when my eyes locked with Saizo's, I subconsciously shied away form him. Chiyo didn't seem to notice, but Koga's most perceptive nina sure did. He gave me an odd look before speaking.
"Chiyo, I think you're just confusing her." He gave her a blank look that was decidedly softer and more reserved than the ones he usually gave me. "Maybe you should go get her some tea, and fill her in when she had some sustenance in her."
Chiyo looked up at him and nodded, seemingly unfazed by his interruption, and hurried out of the room.
I stared up at Saizo, my cloudy brain still trying to discern what was real and what was all in my head. Saizo held my gaze, and what little emotion I ever got to see in his eyes seemed to be searching for something. Finally, he sat down softly next to my futon and started talking.
"As Chiyo said, you've been unconscious for three days. I arrived with Sasuke, Kotaro, and Goemon to aid Kuma, and she told us that she had already directed you to flee to Iga. Naturally, I left the others to go make sure you were okay.
I followed your footprints, and they led me to the waterfall's edge.I was worried you had fallen or been pushed over the edge, but then I heard the sound of..." Saizo trailed off, looking away from me.
What's up with him? I wondered what his reaction entailed. I had never been the best at reading people, but I did know how to recognize when something was bothering someone. However, I figured it was best not to ask, so I waited silently for him to continue.
"Anyways, I looked to the tree you were in just in time to see you fall backwards. I called out to you, but you seemed to be stunned. I got over just in time to catch you, and pin the Hachisuka ninja to the tree."
I cracked a smile at that, and Saizo managed a tiny smile back at me.It was still such a rare occasion, his smiles, and I treasured everyone of them.
Saizo's smile turned back to a grim line, and he continued his retelling. "You were losing a lot of blood, and I ran as quickly as I could to get you back here. You were already unconscious, and I hoped to the goddess that I wasn't too late. Some of the medics came and took you to another wing of the temple, and they would not allow me or even Hanzo in to see you. They told us a bad infection had set in, probably from a poison on the Hachisuka's katana, and you were barely surviving as it was.
They kept us away for two days as you drifted in and out of awareness, but the whole temple always knew when you were awake."Saizo paused to take a breath, and my curiosity got the better of me.
"What do you mean everyone knew when I was awake?" My question seemed to make Saizo uneasy, as he tensed and sat up straighter.
His green eyes searched mine, as if he was debating telling me the real reason.
"The screams." He finally stated. "Whenever you were awake, you would hallucinate violently and scream for minutes, sometimes hours,on end."
I was shocked. All I remembered from my time of being out was the nightmare it seemed I had just awakened from. I looked away from Saizo, feeling oddly apologetic. "Oh..." I mumbled.
Saizo sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I will admit, Princess, that I have either watched or carried out more torture sessions or deaths than I can count, but none of their cries and screams compared to yours. We all thought that one more fit would be all it took to kill you, and in fact, late last night was the first time they told us you would live. You were moved in here to rest and recover in a more familiar environment."
We sat in silence for a moment, a whispering breeze though the open window was thee only real movement. I mulled over what he had told me. If whatever I was hallucinating about was really that bad, I hoped with all my heart that I wouldn't remember it.
Saizo broke the silence by awkwardly clearing his throat. "Misaki,when you first woke up and I came to talk to you, you looked...afraid. I had asked you once before if you were afraid of me, and you told me no. What changed?"
His straightforwardness surprised me, and guilt followed right on its heels. I sighed; reliving my strange nightmare was not on the top of my to-do list. "I'm not afraid of you Saizo, I-I was just confused."
Saizo cocked his eyebrow, silently urging me to continue.
I looked away from him, back up to the ceiling and closed my eyes. "It was just a nightmare..." I chuckled dryly. "And a strange one at that."
"Oh." Saizo quietly scratched the back of his neck, and from the blank expression on his face, I guessed he didn't have much experience comforting someone suffering from nightmares. "Do you want to talk about it...?"
His awkward attempts at helping me were kind of endearing, so I nodded, figuring it couldn't hurt anything, and started to tell Saizo about my dream.
-
I finished retelling my dream, and Saizo and I fell quiet. I looked away from him, feeling bad for making him the villain of my story. I shut my eyes, anticipating the sound of him getting up to leave or something akin to that.
Instead, I was surprised to feel a gentle hand on my head. I turned to Saizo, and met his gaze. It was filled with such a pure, sincere emotion that I couldn't help but be drawn to him.
"Misaki, I have sworn on my honor and my life to protect and serve you, and I have no intention of ever letting you down. You are not a burden to me, or anyone else here. In fact, you have been more helpful than you could know, and you dedication to your training has shown that you are willing to do what is necessary to aid the ninja in this war. For that, you have made all of us proud."
Saizo smiled at me, a true, genuine smile, and I grinned back. Weak As I was, I propped myself up and hugged him, savoring the welcoming warmth of one of my truest friends.