Control

III

Even before I stepped into the small Victorian house, I could smell the food like a bee could smell pollen. Mother may not like to leave the house, but she's great at making something to eat.

But, even if everyone still has ovens and microwaves (something we learned habitants from Pre-War had too), I still think we could classify as living as cave dwellers, like our ancestors a while ago.

"Sweetie, if you don't get here soon, your grilled cheese will get cold," Mother said from the kitchen. Before I could say a witty comeback of some sort, my taste buds overruled the sarcastic part of my brain and I walked into the kitchen and sat down.

I looked around and frowned. Only me and Mother were at the table, and last I checked (mainly because they both gave me the lecture of 'indoors is better' earlier), Mother and Father were home.

"Where's Father?" I asked, starting to rip apart the sandwich to see the cheese strings try to stay together, but ultimately fail. Sometimes even the little things in life are things you can bring to a metaphorically huge standard.

Mother sighed and put her sandwich down, having only taken one bite out of it. "He was called out for a meeting with the other Division officials— I told him not to go but he's as stubborn as you sometimes—"

"Wait," I interrupted her, barely able to contain my excitement. "When did he leave?"

Just then we heard the car rumble. Mother gave me a look of pure discipline. "You are not going, and that's final. You can find many other things to do than risk your life."

I furrowed my eyebrows and raised my voice just a tad. "Like what? Re-read all those old books about nature and animals? Mother, can't you see I'm not interested in that stuff? I just wanna be away this once— it won't even be for that long. How long does dad go on the Division meetings?"

"A couple days," Mother grumbled, picking at her food.

I smiled. "Exactly! I'll be back before you can even think about a week before today's breakfast. I won't be alone, I'll be with Father."

We sat in silence for a few seconds before Mother whispered something I could barely make out. "If I lose him, I don't want to lose you too. I'm sorry, April, I really am, but my decision is final. Maybe you can go the next time he goes to a meeting."

"The next time?" I scoffed, looking at my sandwich, even though I had already lost my appetite. "When was the last time he went to a meeting? When I was 10? I could be in my 20's when the opportunity comes around again."

Mother sighed. "You'll understand me when you get older and have kids of your own to look after."

"How can I get older, if you keep treating me like a child," I told her bitterly, leaving my uneaten sandwich on the plate and storming down to my room.

Once I got to my room and closed the door, I flopped on my bed. I knew I wouldn't have to worry about Mother coming in and trying to reason with me— the last time she did that, we weren't on speaking terms for a week.

I sighed. 'Why can't Mother just understand I'm not gonna be her little girl forever?' I thought to myself, staring at one of the white walls. 'One day I'm gonna get a place of my own, far, far away, and start my own adventure— like all those people in the books.'

I walked over to my bookcase. It had a lot of books in it, and most of them I had read over, and over again, but the one that was my favourite was Forrest Gump— one of the ancient books that survived the War. Forrest was kind of like me, society says we can't do something then bam! does the shit anyways. Well, I wish that were me.

I love my parents. I really do. It's just...we don't agree on everything. I believe with a burning passion that our danger level stays the same, meanwhile my parents think everything you do brings you closer to death. I don't think they realize how most people nowadays are gonna die before even living when people go around with those assumptions in their heads. False hope trying to give them a life.

Hope doesn't do anything unless you're willing to make a change.

And I'll make sure I'll be the one to make that change.

I'll make sure I leave this Division, with the giant tree and false dreams. I'll make sure I find out everything the Books fail to give us. I will know what an ocean looks and smells like. I will know what a coral reef really hides. I will figure out if the world really is round, or actually flat. I will know what real adventure feels like.

And you better believe that nothing can fucking stop me.