this will mostly be in Jacks pov :) I'll try to make these chapters long everytime, and have fixed deadlines. :)
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I stared at her on the uncomfortable bed, my breathing slightly faster than hers. I breathed in, then let out a deep sigh. I hope they become "sure" about when she'll wake up, because I can't stand watching her, either waking soon or in months. I ate away at the stale muffin the hospital served in the cafeteria. I don't know how this one girl I've never talked to can impact me so much. She doesn't know who I am, and never will until she wakes up, that is. I don't know how I'll explain this to her. I have time, but it may not be to much. Only time will tell. I feel through this time I'm going to hace major backache, considering I'm never leaving Molly's side until she wakes up. I've gotten texts from people, asking where I was. None of them were from my family, because why would they have a single worry about me? I'm the first child. My brother, Toby, always came first ever since he was born. You would think that's normal, right? Well, not for this family. He was fed first, they only worried about him. I was underfed, undercared, since I was 5. I loved Toby like any brother should, until he was about 10, and he was old enough to side with people. Instead of siding with me, even though I cared for him so much, he sided with my parents. I don't know why, but he did. It absolutly destroyed me.
It was any other night, trying to go to sleep on the couch, when Toby came in to the kitchen to probably get something to eat. I groggily sat up from the couch, and walked in to the kitchen to greet him. "Hey Tobes," I greeted in a raspy voice. "What?" He asked pertly. "Did the grumpy monster crawl in to your mind?" I joked.
He started talking me off about how I was worthless, and I shouldn't have been intimitaded, considering I was 15 and he was 10. But words hurt so much. I ran off, gathered all the money I had, and lived off of that. Sometimes I would stay at friends houses, but they stopped inviting due to my mood. I was deppressed. My friends started hating me, my family hated me and still does, and the girl of my dreams didn't know who I was. I wanted to kill myself so much, but Molly kept me living. I knew she would never know me, but those rare times I would see her smile, they made my day. It was her being that kept me from killing myself. When I saw he pale body on her bathroom floor, I was crushed. The one thing I want is for her not to hate me. I would be so happy.
Back to Toby, he's always been more successful than me. When I was 13 in 7th grade, I always got in trouble. Detention, detention, detention. Fs,Ds,Cs. Toby? Right now he's at the national spelling bee. Or something like that. He's always getting As, and I don't think he's ever gotten a B. Or even an A-, for that matter. But right now, if I was somewhere being successful, I couldn't have brought Molly to the hospital, and she could have died. My only source of happiness and joy could have died on me. How would I have felt then? Nothing? Sad? Angry? Would I be in an even deeper depression?
I try to get my mind out of this mental state I'm in. I don't want to think of a world where Molly is dead. I'd rather be here than be successful and have her die. I don't know why she downs herself in the way she does. I wish I could tell her that I love the way she looks in jeans and baggy shirts and sweatpants and with her hair up and with her hair down and with it curled and when she doesnt wear wear make up and when she giggles. I brushed her curly blonde hair away from her forehead and pressed a gentle kiss.
*
Where am I? It appeared to be a house, and a really big one for that matter. But I was holding hands with a handsome guy, with white-blonde hair and light blue eyes that seemed to be glowing. He looked down at me and planted a kiss on my forehead. I stood there, and said nothing. Out of nowhere, I appeared to be in some kind of theater. A girl that looked about 5 years of age who had the man's eyes and my curly blonde locks ran up to me and jumped in my arms. I didn't protest, it was like I had no control over what was going on. The man kissed the small girl in my arms on the cheek and told her he was proud of her. I guess I can assume he's my husband, as we both have wedding rings on our ring fingers.
I blinked, and we seemed to be back at the homey, cute place that seemed to be our home. The me I couldn't control tucked the girl, I think I called her Mia, in bed, as my husband I had called Jack tucked in her brother that looked very similar, I think they might be twins. We kissed them each on the forehead and walked out of their room together. Before I could notice, I was in our room I'm guessing. Jack undressed until he was in his boxers alone, and walked over to help undress me until I was only in underwear as well. We slipped under the fluffy blankets and cuddled until we fell in to sleep.
I don't know if this is a dream or if I'm having before death hallucinations, but if I end up this happy in an alternate universe, or here, then I think I want to live to it.
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oops.
