I've always been scared to lose my virginity. But I knew I was gonna lose it with the right boy, a boy I would love with all my heart. I wanted to lose it in a romantic way, maybe after a perfect date .. i don't know. I just didn't wanna lose it with a gross and fat man that smelled like old cheese. Just the idea of him on top of me made me tear up a little.
''I'm sorry...'' Christian said, putting his hands in his front pockets and looking at his shoes.
''You're sorry? Let me tell you where you can put your stupid apologies'' I screamed, on top on my lungs. ''You're ruined my life!'' I added, I got up from the sofa and made my way to him. Our faces were so close I could feel his breath on my face. It smelled like mint. Without thinking I hit him hard. Hard enough to let a red mark that will turn black in a few hours. My hand was in extreme pain but i didn't care, i wanted to him again and again.
But I mostly wanted to hit Justin.
''Leave .. I don't wanna see you're face'' I whispered, shaking. I didn't feel good.
''But-''
''Leave .. please'' I begged.
I knew I was gonna break down but I didn't wanna do it infront of him. I couldn't let him see my weakness. Who knows what he could do if he knew how weak I really was ..
He turned his back and left the room.
My eyes were burning from the tears I was holding back.
''You .. hit him .. or was it a dream?'' A heard a little voice say behind me.
I turned back to face her. My mouth was half open but no words wanted to came out.
''Oh, sweetie .. Don't cry please'' She said, getting up from the couch and making her way to me. She took my hands and whispered ''Everything will be alright..''
''No .. No it won't! They're going to sell us Miley! Sell us! Do you even know what that means?'' I shouted.
''Yes, I know what that means Oce'' She said, trying to keep calm.
''I don't think so .. I won't ever see my family and friends .. I won't ever see Zac. I wanted to tell him that i loved him a few days ago .. I should've, because now i'll never get the chance and he'll never know'' I replied, tears finally escaping my eyes. ''I love him so much, i wanted to kiss him and sleep in his arms. And my mom she's probably crying now, freaking out and shaking in my dad's arms. No no .. She went through so much for me and .. and for nothing.'' I rushed to say. I started to gasp for air, my vision was so blurry i couldn't see a thing.
''Oceane calme down! You're having a panic attack!'' She said with a shaky voice.
''And my dog, poor Loopie i'm the only one she liked in the family! She's gonna be all alone now. She's gonna spend the rest of her life behind the couch. What if they forget to feed her and she dies .. I don't wan't her to die!'' I continued.
I wasn't controling my body. I couldn't stop the tears from leaving my eyes or my legs to shake. I needed to sit down, I was too weak to go on the couch so I just decided to let myself fall down.
''I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die oh my god .. I'm gonna die. They're either going to kill me or i'm going to kill myself. I don't want them to sell me for sex! Everything but that. I'm too young. I'm only 15! .. I'm 15. Why are they doing this to me?
''I don't wanna die'' I managed to say, after a few seconds of sobbing.
I decided to close my eyes. I was tired .. tired of life. I wanted to sleep. Sleep can make you forget everything for a while .. Sleep was what I needed.
I felt weak, probably because of the lack of food in my body. That or my mind wanted me to faint so that it could have a break. Whatever the reason I felt something leaving my body. Like .. a spirit. Is that even possible? At this moment my body became still. No more shaking or sobbing .. The only thing moving were the thoughts in my mind.
''JUSTIN! CHRISTIAN! PLEASE I NEED HELP NOW!!''
That's the last thing i heard before falling into the darkness.
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