AM I IN LOVE WITH YOU OR AM I JUST LONELY?

four

He's kissing me like thunder, rough and wet. I don't push him away when he presses my back into the lockers and his strong arms slithering over me.

I'm supposed to be in class. It's quiet, gooey and unsweetened. He mumbles something against my lips that doesn't seem to matter. I press my lips against his with closed eyelids, hard and small.

As my fingers twist in the hair fluffed on the top of his head, all I can think about is her.

How her glossy golden hair would feel oh so soft in between my fingers. How her lips would taste. How her smooth skin would feel underneath me.

He puts a big hand on my back and pulls me towards him and I know if I say no I will pay for it tonight. His fist will pound against me for not letting him have what he wants.

I have counted how many times his fist has been made visible on my back and stomach and shoulders and cheek and ribs. Twelve in total. Five still illustrated on me now as we kiss. The first one was the worst one. His fist batted hard into my cheek. He hadn't learned the importance of hitting me where it would stay hidden.

I felt his knuckles dig through my flesh and felt my teeth crunch. It felt like a hammer smashing into my face. I could smell the alcohol misting from his steal breath and airing through his clenched teeth and the blood. I could taste the metallic blood in my mouth. Gushing out onto my tongue and I couldn't talk. Only feel. Feel my crimson cheek imprinted with his fingers and cough up my own blood.

Now the bruise is fading into an ugly yellow and taupe as I think of her. She's kissing me. Her lips are soft and tingly. Her glitter lipgloss seeping into our kiss and I lick it off. Watermelon.

Her neck is soft with her collarbones slicing her tan chest. Her caramel hair spilling all around her as she holds onto me. I drink her in like peach juice with her angel face. Her hand pushes my hair out of my face, off my neck wrapping her slim arms around me and catches my lips in her plush lips.

My arms are tight around her my hands resting on her hips and crawling all over her curves. Her lips feel like summer and satin sheets and clouds. And I can feel her inhale and exhale pressed up against me. I'm floating.

She kisses me like twill clouds kiss the blue painted sky. Not like thunder.

She's like the oxygen that keeps me going. Her soft hand touches my cheek. She looks like an angel with Aphrodite eyes and I can smell her perfume. It's comfortably familiar and tender.

The heavens pour out onto her. She's like a dream as she wraps my up and continues to kiss me. Her lips locking with mine and it's electric, celestial, gentle. I feel fireworks in my chest and stars in my fingertips, covering my skin. My hands sweep into her honeyed vapor hair. My hand clench in her brushed hair and her skin colliding with mine. Her hands pull my face into hers and her skin is velvety. The fabric of her white dress flowing everywhere.

I pull her hair down, gently. Her head falling back her eyes closed, her mahogany eyelashes fanning onto her cheeks as her palms rest on my cheeks. I kiss her lips then down her face and scatter thick kisses down her jawline and onto her soft neck. She lets out a little moan and something in my stomach ignites.

"Ok. That's all." And I'm thrown back into reality by his wicked voice. And I see her and she's real.

She's walking passed us with a binder held close to her body in her arms. He still has an arm me and I step away. It's a tiny gesture, not enough for him to hit me but enough for him to give me a "what the hell" look. Her eyes pour into mine. She gives me a weird look.

Does she know that I truly like her rather than him?

My breath is caught in my throat and my heart is pounding. I look down. And I look at my boyfriend.

"Ok." My eyes slip in his. I kiss his sticky cheek. It's cold. "Talk to you later." My voice shatters in the silence.

He leaves and I try not to look at her as she walks down the hall avoiding my eyes.