In Trouble with the Bad Boy

Chapter Four: Secretly a Shakespeare Nerd

I may be one of the track team's top sprinters, but I swear that I set a personal record while bolting down the school corridors.

Because if there is one thing that will make me run in fear for my life, it is the murderous gleam I just witnessed in Ace Becker's eyes.

My heart was pounding with every step I took.  Every squeak of a sneaker, every time a teacher yelled at me for running, I cringed, thinking he was following me.  Frantically, I tried to map out an escape route in my head: I needed a place Ace wouldn't be caught dead in.

Then it clicked: the library.

Thankfully, when I reached the rows and rows of books, Ace was nowhere to be seen.  Actually, the library was a graveyard -- there was no one there.  I mean, there were never a ton of people, since only nerds like myself voluntarily chose to hang out in the library, but since everyone was at lunch, it was even more deserted than usual.  Still, I slipped stealthily amongst the shelves, just in case there was actually anyone in here that could point Ace in my direction when he came looking for me.

I figured that if I was going to be in here for a while (a.k.a. THE REST OF THE SCHOOL DAY) I might as well do something that I enjoyed to pass the time.  So obviously I made my way to the back of the library to the Shakespeare section.  Firstly, because I'm a theatre geek and Shakespeare is kinda my thing, and secondly because no one ever goes back there.  I'm not joking: I drew a smiley face in the dust on the Shakespeare shelf at the beginning of the year and its still there.  Not even the librarians dare venture into the land of the bard.

So I plucked Henry IV Part I off the shelf and began reading.  I got so immersed in the book that I didn't  even notice a certain troublemaker sneak up next to me until he plucked the book right out of my hands.

Ugh.  He had found me.  Goodbye world.

"Give me my book back, you idiot." I glared at him with the fire of a thousand suns.

He just smirked and held the book above his head, wayyyy out of my reach.  So obviously, being the genius that I am, I stood up and jumped for it.  And obviously, being the graceful, coordinated person that I am, I fell on my butt.

Yeah, said that annoying voice inside of my head, that was a smart idea.  It's not like he's 6' 2'' and you're 5' 4'' or anything.

Oh shut up, I thought furiously.

And now I'm having an argument inside of my head while Ace Becker is doubled over laughing at me.  Fantastic.

I stood up quickly and dusted off my jean shorts.  "Seriously, asshole?  I was almost to the end of the third act, and now I've lost my place!"

Ace smirked (again.  Seriously, that boy is going to have serious smirk lines when he gets old) and replied, "Seriously, asshole?  You just had to go and ruin my relationship with the hottest girl in school.  She was basically the love of my life!"

Psh.  Love of his life? Yeah right.  They had been dating for seventeen days.  A WHOLE SEVENTEEN DAYS!!  That's not enough time to fall in love, or begin a meaningful relationship, or even be Facebook official, and Ace knew that.  He was just messing with me.

So obviously, now it was my turn to mess with him -- with a little help from the bard, of course.

I glared at him.  "Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow catch!"

The next words that came out of him made my mouth drop.

Ace stared right into my eyes and shot back, "Thou subtle, perjur'd, false, disloyal man!"

He's read "The Two Gentlemen of Verona."  My brain registered his words, but barely.  I was too focused on the fact that I had just stumbled upon an important secret of the town's resident bad boy.

He was a secret nerd.

A secret Shakespeare nerd.

Taking advantage of my speechlessness, he said in a low voice, "Thou art like a toad; ugly and venomous."

"W-wel-well," Keep it together, Rebel, "well, thou art as loathsome as a toad."

"That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?" He shot back, smiling at me with a challenge in his eyes.

"You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, you bull's-pizzle, you stock-fish–O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor's-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!  Thou art unfit for any place but hell.  Thy sin's not accidental, but a trade.  A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality."

If you guys didn't know, Shakespearean insult competitions are like rap battles to theatre kids.  Or to me, at least.  Once you get me going, I just can't stop, especially when I was roasting the idiotic boy in front of me.  I was stringing quotes together from different characters, different plays, and I was rolling over him like a dump truck over a tin can.  His eyes just got wider and wider as the insults went on.

Of course, I had to finish it off with a bang.

"Methink'st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee."

And with that, I did a mental mic-drop and sauntered away.  The boy may be a secret Shakespeare nerd, but even he is no match for the queen of the theatre department.

Damn, that felt good.

I couldn't resist driving the point home, though.  So when I reached the doors to exit the library, I turned around to where Becker was still standing, dazed.

"I bite my thumb at thee, sir."  With that, I stuck my thumb in my mouth, wiggled around my fingers, and exited stage left with all of the flair of a true theatrical genius.

The only bad part was that I no longer had an excuse to try and skip my AP Chemistry class.

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Hello my beautiful people!  I am sorry I have been absentee for so long.  Life just caught up with me, but I have committed to make this book my summer project, and in a couple of weeks, once finals are over, updates will resume on a more regular schedule.  For now, I hope y'all enjoyed my comeback chapter, and see you guys next time!!

Peace out,

~Rhiannon~