This One Thing

Chapter One

                No. No no no. How did this happen, he was wearing a condom. I thought. But I guess that’s the problem. I thought, and I thought I loved him. I thought he loved me, and that made it okay.

This is NOT okay though. I’m pregnant. I am… pregnant? That doesn’t even sound believable. Aerie Davis is pregnant. That’s what they all will be saying. Last year when Isabel  Sajarab got pregnant everyone laughed at her, stared at her, and she was all alone. Her friends left her. She was called so many names, names that I don’t even know the meaning of. And that’s going to be me in a few months.

No.

*9 Months Later, December 17*

                As I looked into my newborn baby girl’s precious eyes, I couldn’t help but cry. I cried for three reasons; happiness, anger, and sorrow. Happiness because I finally get to see this baby I have been carrying for nine months. Pure anger because I am being forced to give her up for adoption. My parents decided as soon as I told them, I didn’t even get a say in it. I knew deep down in my heart that it would be the best decision for her and me, seeing as how I am still in high school.

Still though, looking into your own child’s eyes knowing that you only have a few hours left with her being completely yours is the worst feeling anyone could ever experience. And that, is the sorrow portion of my tears.

“Do you want me to take her for a little while so you can rest?” My mom said. I didn’t even notice she was still here.

“No, I’m fine.” I glared. I only have a few hours and she is not taking my baby away from me yet.

“Hi baby girl. You’re beautiful. Did you know that? I laughed when she just yawned at me and snuggled in closer.

“You look tired. Here, I’ll sing you to sleep.” Since its almost Christmas, I decided to sing Christmas carols.

“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. And the very next day, you gave it away. This year to save me from tears, I’ll give it to someone special.

 Once bitten and twice shied. I keep my distance, but you still catch my eye. Tell me baby, do you recognize me? Well it’s been a year, it wouldn’t surprise me. Merry Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it with a note saying ‘I love you’, I meant it. Now I know what a fool I’ve been, but if you kiss me now I know you’d fool me again.”

By the time I got back to the chorus she dozed off so I stopped.

*               *               *               *               *              *               *               *

I woke up to my mom shaking me and whispering my name. “Aerie,  Aerie? Aerie, the adoption agency is here…” I turn to look at a couple ladies standing in the doorway and my baby sleeping in her bed next to me.

I immediatley sat up and picked her up. "No, it's too early. I still have a few hours with her." I looked over at my bedside clock. I slept for three hours?! Tears started streaming down my face. "No. You can't take her yet, I was sleeping. I haven't gotten to rock her yet or even feed her. The nurse did that. Can't you come back?" I held her tighter.

"Honey, they have a family for her. She goes to her mom and dad today. Remember?"

"No! I'm her mom! I gave birth to her, she's mine!" My cheeks were getting hot. How could they think this is fair? How could anyone do this?

"I'm sorry, could you give us a minute?" Mom asked the adoption people. They stepped out and she came and sat on my bed. "Aerie, you know this is for the best. We have already talked about this. The family are all ready. They can support a baby."

"I could get a job. I'll drop out of school. You decided this, not me. You're making me do this. I never wanted to give her up. Look at her!" I moved her towards my mother. "I haven't even named her!"

"You don't get to name her sweetie. That is the new parents' job. And you don't really have a choice, we already decided." She got up and walked over to the door.

"Easy for you to say, you didn't carry her for nine months! You didn't give birth to her! You never even held her." I screamed, covering my baby's ears.

She opened the door and let the ladies back in. "Okay, we're ready."

They came over to me. The lady on the right with blonde hair started talking to me. "We have some paprs for you to sign. We'll take her and fasten her in the car seat."

"No, she's fine here." I snapped.

"Okay, sign here, here, and here." She pointed to various places on the sheet, and handed me a pen like it was nothing special to sign away your baby. I started shaking uncontrolably and sobbing. I couldn't do anything other then shake, and look at my baby. She was still asleep, unaware that she was getting ripped from her mother's arms.

"I love you, I love you. Don't forget, you're beautiful. You're the best thing that could've happened to me, even though I have only known you for a short while. I love you." I sobbed, kissing her head and hugging her. Her light blonde hair was getting wet from my tears.

"Aerie, they're waiting." Mom prompted me. I shot her an ugly look and picked up the pen. Slowly, my hand involuntarily started scribbling my signature. It looked awful, but I guess it worked. They picked up the papers and put them in a briefcase. Then, they took the carseat and put it up on the table. Blondie walked over to me and held out her arms.

"What?" I spit out. I looked down and she had opened her blue eye and started crying. "Shh, shh its okay. Mommy's here." I rocked and hummed her back to sleep, she didn't need to see this. The roof of my mouth hurt from crying and my eyes felt raw, but the tears kept coming.

I stood up and walked over to the seat in pain. I had a migraine, my stomache and vagina hurt. I gave her one last hug and kiss on the forehead, then strapped her in.

"Thank you." The other lady said. For what, handing over my baby girl? The little life I created? Yeah, you're most freakin' welcome.

"Just go before she wakes up." I said. I crawled back into my bed alone. They shook my mom's hand and walked out of my life, forever. I turned over in my bed and what felt like rivers and rivers of tears fell from my face.

"Are you okay?" Mom asked.

"No, I'm not fucking 'okay', and I never will be. Right now, just in this moment, I hate you. Now leave, I'm going to be sick." I bellowed.

In shock, she left. I ran into the bathroom and started throwing up.