This One Thing

Chapter Two

A/N: Listen to the song when you start reading. Its not the actual song, its a cover. Daughtry's version wasn't on YouTube. Still the same song though! I thought the lyrics were perfect, and very touching. Hope you like it!

"Rock-a-by baby, on the tree top. When the wind blows the cradle will rock. When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall. And down will fall baby, cradle and all."

I jerked awake when I heard a door close. Alex was standing in my doorway with red eyes. He walked over and almost sat on my bed, before deciding my desk chair was a safer choice.

"Aerie, what's wrong? You're crying." My hand flew up to my cheek, where warm tears were running down.

"I.. I had a dream. I was singing a lullaby to Grace." Grace is what I decided I was naming my daughter, for me anyway. "Then she fell from my arms into a stranger's. She started crying but I couldn't get to her. Alex, where is she?"

"She's not here. You don't remember? You gave her up. She's with her adoptive parents now."

Suddenly it came back to me. Her sleeping face, the adoption agency, every night the dreams I have of her, and the pain. So much pain. I fell back to my bed, tears rushing back. It had been a week. She was a week old, and I wasn't there. Enormous sobs came from me; I had no idea I was even capable of this much crying. I rolled over, trying to find comfort in my pillows. Everything I touched was cold, waiting for me to heat it up with my warmth. Alex must have gotten up and came over to me, because I felt an already warm arm. He laid down by me and put his arms over me.

"Get off me! This is your fault, all of it." He jumped up. "You lied to me, got me pregnant, and then you weren't even there for me. You could've helped me keep her. She was half yours. You never even came to see her. She's perfect, you know. She deserves her real parents."

He just stood there and let me yell at him. "I'm sorry. I thought you'd be happier without me. I thought I would mess it up. And I thought you would be happier not keeping her, more time for school."

I just stared at him. "Don't you see how it's ten times worse now?" He didn't say anything, instead he just slipped in bed beside me, and I didn't yell this time. I was so tired of being alone. I snuggled up into his chest and tried staring at the door so the tears wouldn't escape my eyes.

"Talk to me softly... I'm all alone." I begged.

"It's Christmas Eve, Aerie." Alex whispered. He knew this was my favorite day of the year.

*              *               *               *               *               *               *               *              

I woke up to my little sister running back and forth down the hallway, trying to wake my parents.

I opened my eyes and immediately looked at the big, white, fluffy thing I was lying on. Teddy bear? I thought. A huge stuffed teddy bear with a Santa hat.. and a note.  

Now you don’t have to be alone.

-Alex

I stared at the note again, and then back to the teddy bear. For days there have been stains on my pillow because I would cry in my sleep, wake up and cry, or just mindlessly sob the day away. Now, when I look at my teddy bear, it was clean; no stains. For a while I have hated Alex, pushing him away and I actually almost erased him from my past. But now, I felt different.

You know that feeling that you have when you’re absolutely happy and safe, and no one can take that away from you? Even if it was for a split second, (then I thought of Grace) that’s what I felt last night. It was like when we first started dating. Everything was sweet, chocolates and roses. But then the roses died, and the chocolates melted, and I got pregnant.

Last night felt like our first date, all over again.

 My door was cracked and I saw Leslie peek in on me, her blonde hair still messy from sleeping.

“Aerie.. are you awake?” I didn’t answer, I just closed my eyes. “Merry Christmas..” She whispered.

I felt bad now. These last few months I’ve been kind of crappy to her. I used to tell her everything, but I have hardly said two words to her lately. Hormones can be a bitch, but that doesn’t mean I had to be one.

“Leslie, wait. I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting. I have been an awful sister, and I’d like to change it. You’re only eight, you don’t deserve it. You are the first person I told about my pregnancy and you kept my secret until I was ready to tell Mom and Dad. Thank you.” I ended my speech by giving her a big hug, something I hadn’t in nine months, when I first told her.

“Wait, I have something for you.” She smiled, and ran to her room. In a few moments she returned, with her hands behind her back.

She pulled out a pretty, pink blanket that looked as soft as a baby lamb. “I bought this for Grace with my tooth fairy money right after you told me. I was going to give it to her when she was born, but they said her new parents would have one. I kept it, and figured you would want it. Merry Christmas.”

Tears swelled in my eyes like they had done all week as I took the blanket. It was perfect, just like Grace. She would look lovely in it.

“Thank you Leslie. This is the best gift I have ever received. Now run along and open your presents. I’m sure I didn’t get anything, I don’t think Santa is very happy with me.” She listened, and sprinted towards the living room.

I laid back down on my bed, covered up with Grace’s baby blanket, and snuggled up to my teddy bear.

 I wasn’t alone.