Calm Envy [Ruki - The GazettE FanFiction]

4. How Didn't I Notice Before?

Ruki stared at the teary eyed Rin, taking in her features. She was the one that confessed her love to him back in high school, she was the one that oh so rudely refused to give her position to him back at the supermarket, making him late with Kai scolding him once he burst through the backstage doors. The young man took his time, sucking in all of the girl's beauty. How her long light brown hair was, how soft  it seemed under the lights placed on the ceiling, just like back in high school. How her hazel eyes were filled with memories and love for him, but there was something; a feeling swimming inside her, that Ruki couldn't understand or make out. He had seen her through the crowd, winking at her playfully, even though she propably didn't realize it was aimed at her. How her clothing was oddly arousing him; he obviously had a thing for nice legs and while she wasn't showing much, except a small part of her thighs, he imagined her small and thin legs around his neck for a moment. 

Snap out of it you idiot. Ruki inwardly scolded himself, mentally slapping his cheek as he cleared his throat, getting Rin's attention.

"Want to go for some dinner?" He asked out of the blue. Rin stared at him baffled, not knowing how to reply to that. He remembered her all of a sudden, he stared at her as if she was a piece of meat. She didn't know how to feel, how to react. She was confused and she had a sudden urge to cry. Would it be from happiness, or sadness she didn't even know.

While Rin was trying to find an answer, Ruki studied every inch of her body carefully. When his eyes fell on her right hand, he saw it; the button he had once given her, actually thrown at her feet. How didn't I notice her before? Was the first question that popped into his mind. He felt like an idiot all of a sudden. This young woman was absolutely stunning and he had rejected her without an ounce of regret in his body or mind. As he kept scowling and arguing with his subconscious he didn't hear the quiet reply from Rin. "Uh, what?" He snapped out of his thoughts, blinking rapidly at her. He suddenly thought about his appearance. He was probably messed up. His make up must have been smudged, his clothes drained with sweat and after a long, long time, he suddenly felt self conscious about himself.

"I said, okay." Rin mumbled, purposefully avoiding the man's eyes. Ruki fought the urge to smile at the shy girl in front of him and nodded, adding quickly, ''Let me take a quick shower first and then we can go." The girl didn't have time to reply as Ruki had already rushed towards the bathroom installed somewhere in those confusing rooms. Once in the bathroom, Ruki stared at his reflection, cringing at how hideous he looked. Quickly he wiped all the make up from his face with vicious movements that turned his skin red and when finished, he stripped off his clothes, jumping in the shower. It was the quickest shower he had ever taken, Ruki noted as he stepped outside, a towel around his narrow waist, another one on his hair. He dried himself as fast as possible and pulled on some random clothes, in hopes that no one would figure who he was. He was contemplating between wearing make-up or not. It was one of the few times that he felt like going out natural but he felt scared for once, showing his true self at the girl that was waiting outside. It was odd, that he wanted to look perfect for a woman; he usually didn't care, because girls were falling on his and his bandmates feet. But with Rin, it didn't seem to be that case. He could see different emotions rolling off of her in waves but he couldn't decipher what they were. She was obviously attracted to him, that much was obvious but he couldn't decide whether there was more to that or not.

I guess I have to try and find out. He thought as he blow dried his hair, pulling a hoodie over it. In the end he applied the faintest of make-up and made his way back to the corridor he had left Rin waiting.

But she wasn't there. He looked all around, his heart picking up its pace, losing hopes of seeing the woman again. After searching the whole stadium in the minimum of ten minutes he decided to let it go and go back home. The others probably would bring fans to the party, but Ruki wasn't in the mood for something like that. He just wanted something to fill his stomach and go back to sleep.