I just keep on seeing his face.
Every time I see a brown haired boy, his face morphs into the familiar face of the boy who dyed his hair purple.
I started realizing that something was wrong when it happened for the fifth time in a week.
That night, I googled what hallucinations mean and I made the huge mistake of going onto webmd. When I was halfway through reading about the possible causes for these illusions, I started shaking and became short of breath.
These things weren't normal in any way possible. I got up from the comfort of the couch and slowly made my way to the bedroom, breathing like I was just about to faint.
As I got into the room, I slammed the door behind me and continued reading about all these illnesses that I could possibly have.
After I finished reading it, I burst into tears and wondered why I couldn't have fallen in love with someone who would actually care about me and return the feeling.
But then I realized that maybe the pain is enjoyable to me. Maybe I completely depend on this pain for any sort of interest in my life. Maybe I thrive on the pain. Maybe I love hurting myself.
Just needed to let a few things out.
Things will go back to normal.
