Harvey Knows Best (Steve Harvey/Laurence Fishburne Fanfiction)

The Awakening

Morning came, and Steve Harvey awoke to no Laurence Fishburne in sight. In the three months they had been on the island, this had never happened. Apparently, Laurence had spent the night in a tree, stroking his acne scarred cheeks and coming to a decision. Steve stretched his wide, exfoliated arms and strolled over to the tree Laurence was in.

"Howdy there, partner. What brings you to these parts?" Steve asked, his bald heald gleamimg with joy.

"It's not the time for roleplaying, Daddy. I think I want to go back home. This affair was fun, but I still love Gina and I miss my kids," Laurence responded.

"Kids! Why do you still care about those? They've been getting along swimmingly without you. And this isn't an affair. This is love."

"You have kids, Steve. Don't you think about them?"

"First off, it's Daddy to you and secondly - "

Steve was cut short by the third head rub. The third one utilized all of Laurence's body weight, as he had grabbed onto Steve's head while jumping out of the tree. All of a sudden, Steve stopped talking. His mustache began to fly forward, separating from his face and revealing a metal underside. Then, Steve's lips, nose, cheeks, forehead... everything was falling off, displaying his cyborg interior. All of a sudden, a genie flew out of Cyborg Harvey's head. The genie was lilac and rose, perhaps the most beautiful creature Laurence had ever laid his eyes on.

The genie said, "Harvey Knows Best, here at your service, what are your three wishes?"

"What is this? Why did Daddy turn into a cyborg, and why did you pop out of his head?" Laurence demanded

"Do you WISH to know the answer?"

"I suppose."

"Your wish is my command. Steve Harvey Bot was created in 234 B.C.E., October 3rd to be exact. He has taken many forms throughout his life, from pharoahs to kings, and most recently, a television superstar. He was always a cyborg, he just had very realistic skin qualities. That is also why he did not have genitalia. Why, may I ask, didn't you have your lower regions?"

"It fell off in an accident," Laurence muttered.

"OK. I live inside his cyborg head because on his TRUE birthday, October 3, 234 B.C.E., his creator, Morgan Freeman, implanted me in there for safekeeping. The only way I can get out is by rubbing Steve Harvey's bald head 3 times, though it does not have to be consecutively. If this deed is done, Steve Harvey Bot will 'die' for 500 years until he can fully reboot his systems."

A shiny green tear spilled out of Laurence's eye, and the genie fluttered about his cloudlike body. Laurence began sobbing green and yellow tears uncontrollably, entering a state of hysteria.

"Now that you've gathered your thoughts," interjected the genie, "what is your second wish?"

"Bring Steve back! I didn't mean to rub his head three times, I could never hurt a man as flawless as him."

"Your wish is my command."

Steve leaped up from the ground, regenerated with youth and beauty stronger than ever before. Laurence leaped into Steve Harvey's arms, as Steve Harvey pulled out a bacon scented man candle and anointed Laurence's head with its wax. Man candle wax masks were a frequent component of their exfoliation routine.

"Finally, your third wish?" the genie questioned.

Laurence gave Steve one last loving look, stepped out of his arms, and said, "I wish to be with Gina Torres and my children again."

A single metallic tear dripped down Steve's cheek as the sparkly cloud of interdimensional transportations appeared to take Laurence away. They both whispered "I love you," kissed, and watched as they each got smaller and smaller, their memories to never leave, but their affair to never live again.