rolf was sitting on his dirty ass couch one lovely autumn evening when suddenly he heard some loud knocks on his door. he quickly shoved his hot dog back into its designated area, shut off his television (it was displaying questionable content) and moved towards the door. rolf saggytits was a man of many talents (not lmao) but making friends (or being liked in general) was not one of them. so when he heard the sound again, he was scared for his (pathetic) life. rap rap rap went the door o no thought rolf suddenly the door flew open... it was matty, his biffle!!2!2 "o matty," said rolf "i didnt think it was you becuz u cant rap lolololo" matty pushed him indoors and sat on the couch. squish squish went teh couch o no though rolf once again wat is that said matty its mu cum ... "whys it yeller then" said matty 'uhm, herpes?" rolf was unsure himself matty turned on the tv and porn came up this surprised rolf so much he assidently came all over his brand new crusty old sofa "dag nabbit" he screeched angriky i side mattys ear. then the two boys started playing their fav online game: http//sexymangapornboobs.net/lolzoryoulosers/dontleturmumsee:sonotacomputervirUs&3892@::&;8 suddenly an ad came up. it was for rolfs new hit single sweaty shirt. WEB U FO TO SLEP AN NIGHT WEN U WAHE UO INT HE MORNIN- mattys ears bled so he threw the laptop out his window. then they decided to search themselves on google because thats what the cool kidz do. jacob hollered very loudly when he saw this under mattys name:
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but matty! ur not a musical artist! he yelled worriedly matty coughed. then he coughed some more and he started choking and spit soy milk everywhere. lets look in images shall we? he assked this is what they saw next:
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rolf sucked in a breath (he has asthma) at the smooth pale orange curved of the nine year old on his screen. then he felt something slightly less mushy than normal in his pants. it was his pepe!2 he quickly ran to the bathroom but matty followed him. he jumped onto ralph and kissed inside his spine, sucking on the sensitive bone and meat varieties. wait said rolf breathlessly and turned on some music to fuck to all star by smash mouth started playing and rolf moaned so loudly his saggy tits fell to the floor. matty unziped his pantaloon to find the rare pepe staring back at him. it flew to the orher side of the room and dissapeared. rolf wept. "its okay jacob. im still your friend" said matty rather soothingly "WHAO WHOS JACOB" rolf bellowed, clearly offended. the somg reached the chorus and matty couldnt take it "i'll explain l8er m8erino" and shoved his 3.25 millimeter cockadoodle deep(not relly) into rolfo. rolf came instantly, screaming shreks name hearing that, matty rammed into him until his lil stick deflated like a sad excuse for a balloon. he collapsed on top of rolf, suffocating him, and fell asslep. rolf sighed happily and dreamt of swamps until he died of heart falure. • matty was crying over his tombsotne taht read: rolfe saeegtit loved by noone (except matty lolzor) died from too many viagr- i mean vitamin gummies *nervous laughter* matty died of sadness • Shrek woke up.
