To Love Him Once More (USFIL Book 2) - Completed

Chapter 17

JEARRI

My heart started thumping loudly as I walked toward Kyron. He was wearing formal attire, while I was in a baby blue dress that was above the knee. I wanted to run to him and apologize for choosing Laxer over him. I wanted to choose him so badly, but I couldn't lie about what I really felt.

He waited for me until I felt the same way about him, and all I did in return was to reject him. I knew it was long overdue to do so because we had spent so much time together, and I should have done it sooner.

The moment I reached him was the same moment my tears began falling from my eyes nonstop. I didn't know if I had the courage to give him back the ring. All he did was love and care for me, and yet, I was the villain in his life. I should have let him go from the beginning so he wouldn't have wasted so many years of unrequited love.

I love him, but not as strongly as I loved Laxer, and not in the same way he loved me. I didn't think I'd ever reciprocate his love. It was time to let go and let someone else be with him—someone who deserved him more than I did. Because deep down, I knew I would never deserve him or his love.

"I'm sorry..." I said through sobs. "You know how much I cared for you, and I don't want you to feel like you're not enough. But I hope this doesn't make you feel that you're underserving of love. I love you, but it wasn't enough for me to want to be with you for the rest of my life. You were right. I still had feelings for Laxer that I failed to recognize from the beginning. I still love him." I reached for his hand and placed the ring in his palm. "Thank you for being so kind to me after everything—for always prioritizing my happiness. You're the most selfless person I know, and you deserve a love that I cannot give you.

"Hey, stop crying," he said, kissing my forehead. "I'm not mad. I will never get mad at you because I love you, and I don't think I'll ever stop loving you. But if one day, I find someone to love more than I loved you, you will still have a place in my heart. We've been together for 8 years, and we've shared good and bad memories. I will always have love for you. Thank you for being my Zanya. Thank you, Jearri, for being with me and creating beautiful memories I will keep forever." He cupped my face, and met my gaze. "So don't worry about me, okay?"

I cried harder. He was still smiling at me despite what I had done today. How did I deserve him in my life? I was selfish. I only thought about what would make me happy, and it was hard for me to sacrifice anything—even just once.

"Jearri, it's okay. I promise, I'm not hurt. Look at me. Don't think too much about it. I just want to make sure you're happy, and if that means not being with me, I'm more than willing to let you go." He hugged me tighter.

"Thank you, Kyron, for always being there for me, for always supporting me. I wouldn't be here today without you. You've made so many things possible for me. You will always be a safe place in all the chaos. I want you to know that I love you, I really do, and I'd like to apologize again, because I've known for a long time that I couldn't give you what you deserved. We've spent many years together, and I'll forever treasure every memory with you. I pray that you find someone who will love all of you, because you deserve that."

"It wasn't because of me," he said, caressing my back to calm me. "It was because of yourself. You're capable of so many things, so I hope you stop doubting yourself. You're here today because you are a strong woman, wiser than many, and you have a pure heart. You deserve recognition for your hard work. I've always been behind you, cheering you on. It wasn't me who put you where you are today—you worked hard for it, and I'm sure you'll achieve even more. I'm the proudest of you, Jearri."

"I tried, Kyron. I tried to love you the same way," I said, pulling away from his embrace to look him in the eyes. "But I failed."

"I know you did, and thank you for trying. You can stop trying now. I'm just grateful that you trusted me more than I deserved. Being trusted by you means more than anything. You've been through so much, and the fact that you trusted me is something I will always be grateful for. It's okay. Everything's okay now, Jearri. You're finally free. I will always be here for you. I love you."

"Thank you, Kyron."

I watched him walk away until he was no longer in my sight. He was the best thing that ever happened to me. I hope that one day he'll find someone who will love him the way he loved me. He deserves all the best things in life.

As I was about to return to Laxer's condo, I noticed a familiar face watching me from a distance. When our eyes met, he quickly turned away.

Si Tatay.

I ran after him when I saw him walking faster. "Tay!" I called out, and he stopped.

"Jearri, anak," he said, bursting into tears. I didn't expect to see him today, so I didn't know how to feel. Although we had parted ways years ago, I still missed him.

"I miss you. Sana napatawad mo na ako sa mga nagawa ko noon. I know I wasn't a good father to you. Wala akong kwenta. Mahina ako, kaya sana ay mapatawad mo pa rin ako. I'm sorry, Jearri. It took me many years to show up again. I wanted to see you so badly, to check on you, but fear always held me back. Alam kong wala na akong karapatang maging ama sa'yo. Pero masaya akong makita na successful ka na, kahit walang suporta mula sa isang magulang."

"I was never mad at you, Tay. I'm sorry too for not visiting you again, and for a time, I forgot about you. Malaya na po ang puso ko ngayon, so please don't blame yourself for what happened before."

I hugged him until we had made up for the time we lost. Although we only spent short time together, I could feel that he cared for me and loved me as his daughter. Circumstances had separated us, but I never regretted it. I was still grateful he was my father because I learned that the world could still be beautiful despite the hardships.

When I returned to Laxer's unit, I found him preparing to leave. As soon as he saw me at the door, he rushed over and hugged me tightly. I could feel his fear as he held me.

"I was...I was so scared. I thought you left for good. I thought you were never coming back to me. Those were the worst hours of my life. I didn't know what to do. I had no idea where to find you, but I would have kept looking for you," he said, his voice trembling with fear. With each word, his embrace tightened.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm never leaving you again. I'm sorry it took me years to come back home. To come home to you." I said, assuring him that we would be together for the rest of our lives.

***

LAXER

I'm finally home. Holding her hand, hugging her so tight—that's the feeling of finally coming back home to where I truly belong. It's as if I'm alive again.

For so many years, I felt lifeless. I may have been alive outside, but inside, I was dying... that's how she made me feel when she left. How did I survive? Maybe it's because of her, because I always knew it would be her, and I kept my hopes high. If not today, then in our next life, I was sure it would happen.

And today, I couldn't ask for more. I feel so content now that she's back with me, that I can hold her close again. Masaya ako, sobrang saya ko. She has always been my happiness. She gave me the world I've always wanted. I'm hers, and I'll be hers for a lifetime.

All my life, I thought material things like expensive cars, suits, and luxuries made me happy. But I've realized those things can't compare to the happiness only Jearri can give. It's not about material wealth—it's about the person.

"I love you so much. Life is nothing without you."

"I love you, Laxer." I thought I'd never hear those words again. Sobrang saya ng puso ko, sa wakas ay kasama ko na siyang muli. Hinding-hindi ko sasayangin ang pagkakataong ito na binigay sa akin ni Jearri. I will be better this time—for her, for us.

We spent the rest of the day together, doing the things we missed. We binge-watched all the rom-coms she wanted to see, though she didn't realize she was the one I was watching. I focused on her reactions from time to time, smiling every time she smiled, getting teary-eyed whenever she cried over a scene. I got excited when she blushed at the romantic moments, and I laughed with her. I'll never get tired of doing this with her every day.

"Wala ka namang pinanood e," aniya habang pabiro siyang umirap sa akin.

"I watched you. Ang ganda-ganda mo, mahal." I kissed the tip of her nose, then her lips. I showered her lips with more kisses. "I love you, I will always do," I whispered to her, carrying her to the bedroom.

"Laxer, put me down!"

"No." I grinned, before closing the door.

That night we gave in to our love.