PROLOGUE
Good day, ladies and gentlemen. To start off this grand tale of biblical proportions, of wits and tirades, of whimsical turns, of obtuse speeches and pompous pricks, let us begin first with the introductions, shall we? You have the pleasure of meeting Vincent R. Pines, former Left Hand of God, former Lord sovereign of Hell, Prince of Lies, Bringer of Sin, and up to my latest interests and affairs: room tenant, corporate slave, and mortal man. Now why the sudden change in career? Why such a tragic turn of events, you might ask?
Well, to put it bluntly—I lost.
Yes, as much as I hate to admit it, I lost—again. Politics, civil war; never really had the knack for it, honestly. I was always more fascinated with the sciences, the math, the truth. A bit of a bore, if you must. I gather the word eccentric has had a number of pejorative labels throughout the centuries: mad, crazy, witch, heretic, and so on. Quite sad, really, that so many great minds were condemned, torched or crucified, only to be recognized centuries later long after their death; a sad history for a regrettably ignorant generation.
Let's take for example, that tomboy, Joan. Goes off saying she heard "voices" in her head. She won the war for France, but what did she get in return?—a barbecue with her on the menu. The Church burned her, then long after her time, made her a saint. Now who's crazy? And let's not forget about the "Messiah"; a genius indeed, but like the rest, a man simply out of his time. Pulling everyone's leg like that, the guy was practically mad. To go around saying you're the Son of God during the height of the Pharisees, really, he was asking for it.
If there's one thing I learned about organized religion, it's that they don't really like anything happening that's not written in stone. When He appeared, there wasn't really anything foretold about the Son of God riding a donkey in the middle of the street. No, no, no.
So what happened?
Well, I think everyone's familiar with that fairy tale already, as much as they know all the great stories since their youth—like Little Red Riding Hood and Peter Pan.
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Conversations with the Light Bearer (Religious Satire)
ParanormalLucifer is exiled on earth, trapped in the body of a mortal man. Without his powers, he begins a new life as Vincent R. Pines, a regular corporate employee. Here he faces challenges that will ultimately test his wit and mettle: getting a job, paying...
