Conversations with the Light Bearer (Religious Satire)

CHAPTER X - Dear Mother Mary

CHAPTER X

DEAR MOTHER MARY

Soon evening arrived, and I found myself stumbling upon a fancy neighborhood; the kind where the trees towered, the lawns flourished, and the houses brimmed with French windows and fancy balconies. The lane was paved clean and dry (with concrete and not cheap asphalt), and for the most part, it was completely barren.

A lamp post flickered above me as I stared at a two-storey residence, complete with an attic window, a chimney, and a pot-filled porch. Strolling across the lawn, I realized the house was rather dull and silent, to the point of mundane, though perhaps this was the cover they intended to parade. Or perhaps not, though it was such a contrast to her more striking appearance and personality. But as I often forget, this Son of God was just a child, and since God barely showed up at all, somebody else must have been doing the job for Him.

Suddenly a voice uttered beneath me. "The anomaly is here, Master. I can smell it."

I was so startled I almost jumped. "Jesus Christ, Lilith! Will you stop doing that!"

The succubus was in the body of a black cat. She curled around my leg with her tail waving about. She gave a soft meow. "Sorry, Master. The cat was the closest I could find."

I sighed. "Fine. Let's go."

The black cat bounded for the door.

Suddenly, a cranky voice surfaced from the house. "Who's there?"

It sounded like a woman, though it was too old to be the mother.

"Oh, good evening," I answered back. "Sorry for the late visit, but I came for the review."

The door opened and an old woman stepped out, wrapped in her bedroom robes, a nest of curlers on her head. She was about seventy years old, by my guess, supported by a walking stick. Strangely enough, she reminded me of my landlady, Mrs. Emerson, another candidate for the home for the elderly. "Came for what?"

"The review for the finals tomorrow. Dani asked me for some books."

"Huh? Who are you anyways?"

"Oh, my apologies. I am Professor Pines, Dani's new tutor."

She raised her walking stick, and pointed it at my face. "Listen you... I know who you are. There's no Dani in these parts. You must be one of 'em schemers trying to get inside our house and rob us!"

My eyes widened and turned to Lilith, who was now busy cleaning her fur by the porch. "Meow" was sadly all she could muster with the given circumstances.

"Oh no, madam," I began to persuade her, though I took a step back for it seemed like she was genuinely going to hit someone with that cane of hers, and that someone was most likely to be me. "I am certainly no imposter or thief, if that is what you care to imply," I said with the utmost sincerity that even a lie detector would not be able to tell. I hold the title of the Prince of Lies, after all.

The old woman took a step forward, and she never dropped the stick for even a second. "Get out of my porch, you thief," her voice getting a little louder, waving her deadly weapon at me. "I'll call the police if you don't leave!"

I was now off the porch and on the grass, when Lilith came in between us, hissing fiercely with her back arched high. The woman, surprised, gasped and retreated a step back. "I see! A black cat for a familiar, eh?" she said, and I almost laughed, really, at the silly remark. "Bet you're going to use some of 'em black magic on me!"