Let It Go

Chapter 1

It's been two days since it happened.

Since the day she left me...

Since the day she finally let go..

And it still hurts the same.

I tried to be okay in front of my friends.. I tried to smile, join them in whatever they're doing, tell them jokes, somehow it works but they still notice that my actions were different lately. But every time they ask me why I am so quiet and straight faced, a "shrug" or "nothing" is my only answer.

Until Sean, my best friend couldn't take it anymore. He approached me and I can't look at him cause I know that he knows exactly what I am going through right now.

Sean: "Okay Ryan, what's up?"

I didn't answer.

Sean: "Guys, can you please go upstairs? I'll just talk to Ryan."

Sean said to our friends. They obeyed what he said and they all looked at me first before going upstairs. Leaving me, and him alone.

Sean: "You can start talking now."

He authoritatively said. I feel weak.. I can't answer him and I'm just playing with the necklace that I gave to Taylor.

Sean: "Okay, I can sit here all day." 

I looked at him, tears starting to fall. His face softened.

"She's gone. She left me, Sean. It's all over. It's over Sean."

I covered my face with my hands and cried hard while Sean is comforting me by caressing my back.

Everything. "Sean. I've lost my everything. It's all my fault. If I didn't say the words she wouldn't have done it. I am so stupid!!------"

Sean: "Stop it, Ryan! You're taking things the wrong way. Dude, I know that you have done things that make you and Taylor fight but I also know that you have done things to make it work! When did this happen?"

"The other day."  I said, gasping for air

Sean: "Oh, when I saw Arden ran out of your house while crying.."

"You saw her?"

Sean: "Yeah. I was supposed to visit you. But then I saw her crying and thought that maybe you guys need some space. But ofcourse as your bestfriend, that didn't stop me. I waited for 5 minutes before entering your house and when I got in, things are scattered all over the place. Your broken phone, the lamps are broken, pillows, etc. I was calling you and I had no response that's why I got nervous. So I ran upstairs and saw you sitting at the edge of your bed, crying like a dumbass baby while holding that necklace. I called you but you didn't even hear me. I walked towards you for you to notice me but you're so depressed you don't even know that I'm right infront of you, calling your name and shaking you but no... You didn't even notice me. It was like nobody was there with you. I cleaned up the mess, cooked some dinner but you didn't eat, slept here until our friends came and look at yourself right now. You have no idea about what happened huh?"

I just shook my head as an answer.

Sean: "Look, Ryan. I know Taylor and she only want what's best for the both of you. You're just hurting each other and come to think of it. If you didn't say that you guys should break up? The hurting will still continue. It will only get worse! If God destined yo---"

"I get it. If we're meant to be, the both of us will find a way back into each other's arms and the things will get back to the way it's supposed to be. Right? But Sean, what if, we're not? She's the only--"

Sean: "She's the only girl you've loved that way. I know. I know that. But if you're not? Then let it be! Ryan, instead of wasting your time and yourself, take this as an opportunity! An opportunity to change, an opportunity to grow, an opportunity to have time for yourself an opportunity, to LOVE YOURSELF."

Sean said. Emphasizing the words LOVE and YOURSELF.

Sean: Be a better person. Not a bitter one. You can always talk to me about this you know that!

Greg: And us too!

Derrick: Come on man, we got your back!

I was surprised. All of them listened all along. I was too busy crying that I didn't even noticed. But instead of smiling, they just made me cry harder. But not pure pain. Mixed up pain and joy.

I tried my best to smile and to calm myself.

"Thanks guys." were the only words I could say. All of my friends hugged me. They were there for me while I was crying. Their hug was so tight that it felt like, all of my broken pieces came back together. This is a thing we never actually do. And for once, it felt really good. Having your friends as your guide.

After all of that crying and hugging, flashbacks started to show up in my mind.

Which made me stare into blank space..

*flashback*
DAY 1: THE MEETING

I woke up at 9:00 a.m. and now it's 12:00 p.m. and what the hell am I still doing here in my bed?

I got up, washed my face and headed downstairs. I saw Sean, Greg, and Derrick in the living room Will's not here cause he went to the airport to pick up Monica, his girlfriend and before I could say a word, Greg just cut me off.

Greg: Ryan wanna go to chipots? I'm hella hungry!

Ryan: Sure. Let's go. I'll drive.