Confused (Zayn Malik)

Chapter 3

Zayn's POV

"How are you feeling now?" Merna asks me.

"Better, thanks" I smile and she turns to watch the movie.

We watch the movie and she cries the whole time..

When the movie ends I turn to look at her. She's wiping her tears. Her face is red and her eyes are swollen, tissues are thrown everywhere on the floor, the table and the couch we're sitting on.

"Merna, what the hell? why are you crying so hard?" I'm actually concerned.

"I don't know, it's a sad movie. Why aren't you crying?" She gives me a suspicious look like I have no feelings.

"I know it's a pretty sad movie but crying hysterically like that isn't normal at all." I gesture at the tissues around us and her face.

"It's just they were perfect together, then when she found out he knew her brother and rejected him, and the whole thing with her ex husband and him dying at the end. It's so sad." She starts crying again.

"Oh no, stop crying, please!" I reach my arm to grab her closer to me and hug her. Her head is now resting on my chest.

"Look at the bright side though, they got back together at the end and they lived happily ever after." I know I sound stupid but I'm trying to cheer her up. But when I look at her I see tears rolling down her face again. what the hell?

"Maybe because I don't have that perfect love life they had." she says, now I understand and I feel bad for her.

I push her off me and grab her chin to make her look at me.

"You'll find the perfect guy for you because you deserve the best honestly." I tell her looking into her eyes and I mean it.

Merna's POV

If only he knew.

If only I could tell him.

'I already found him but he doesn't have feelings for me.' I think to myself silently as I always do. I can't tell him and ruin his life. No, actually because I don't wanna get rejected, that will hurt more than not telling him at all.

"You think?" I smile but a tear betrays me by falling from my eyes as he reaches his hand to wipe it away.

"I'm sure." He says with a crooked smile. I can't take this any more.

Before I realize what I'm doing I find myself kissing his lips.

WHAT

what what what

I pull away quickly and think of something to say.

"Thank you." That's all I say, smiling and he looks shocked. I'm totally shocked myself but I act normal as if it was a friendly kiss. But in fact it meant the whole world to me. I always wanted to kiss him, tell him that I love him and he is everything to me, but I never did.

It's been almost 5 years now I'm so good at acting that I don't have any feelings for him, and he doesn't notice at all.

I get up and start cleaning the mess I made.

Zayn's POV

what was that?

I don't really know what to think or say right now as I watch her cleaning up. I'm shocked. That kiss took me off guard. Why did it affect me so much?

'No, Zayn you have a girlfriend and you love her and that kiss was only a friendly kiss, she was just so emotional.' I try to convince myself that it was nothing and Merna could never feel anything for me. I know she cares a lot about me, but that's who she is. She cares for everyone. I never thought of her that way and I don't know why this kiss had this effect on me. Her lips were so soft. I felt like I wanted more.

No no no

I push those thoughts away and realize that I'm still frozen in my place with that stupid shocked expression on my face. Everything is awkward right now as I think of something to say.

"Let's watch another movie. The boys won't be back till after midnight, it's still 10 pm and I don't feel like sleeping." I finally break the awkward silence.

"Okay, you pick one this time." She says while shoving the thrown tissues into a bag.

"The Hangover." her eyes widen at my choice. "What? you made me watch that sad movie with you for two hours and now I want to laugh." I explain myself.

"Okay, The Hangover it is then." she winks at me then giggles shaking her head. oh god why is she so adorable today?

I'm impressed by her sudden changing mood. I've known her for more than 4 years now and I know her mood and emotions change so quickly. I like that about her to be honest. but it's hard to keep up with her sometimes like one minute she is happy and another minute she is sad and annoying. why do I like everything about her?

She's my best friend and I love and accept her just the way she is. that's what friends are, right?

She goes to shove a bag full of tissues into the trash and comes back with popcorn and Pepsi. Great.

We start the movie and laugh at every joke. It's the funniest movie ever.

I steal some glances at her when she's not paying attention. She has the weirdest laugh ever, but I love it. She looks so beautiful when she laughs.

When the movie ends we look at each other with tears in our eyes from laughing so hard and laugh again.

"Ahhh my stomach hurts." she laughs holding her stomach.

"Yeah same I can't breathe." I laugh too. It's like we're both drunk.

"Okay," she says wiping her eyes and yawns. "I'm so sleepy." she says.

"Yeah me too. Let's go to bed." I say and she starts laughing again.

"Oh my god I didn't mean it that way." I laugh along with her.

"I know but still." She says and thank god she stopped laughing, I feel uncomfortable.

"It's like I wanna sleep with you or something." I tell her and roll my eyes. wait, don't I?

"Rude." She frowns and stands up. "Goodnight." she adds and walks to her bunk.

Did that actually hurt her?

No, of course not.

I decide not to over think it and go to sleep.

..