Accepting

Chapter 2

I gradually brought my arms up to embrace her back. She's the only person in my life that I would live for. The only person who's keeping me sane.

She unraveled her arms, ending our hug and placed her hands on my shoulders.

"The doctor's going to tell you your condition now. Okay?" she took a couple steps back and I just nod.

The doctor stepped forward, starring into my eyes, "you've just been through cardiac arrest, take it easy, your body is still recovering."

I stared at him in shock," w-wait...-w-w-what?!"

His eyes turned sad," You have been diagnosed with Long Q-T type two."

My heartbeat started to quicken, " a-am I g-gonna d-d-die?"

"The disease itself can't kill you, although its symptoms can be quite deadly."

I hesitantly asked, " what are the symptoms?"

"The most common one is fainting, even though cardiac arrest is rare, it is more likely to happen again to you as you already had one. I'll take my leave now, if you need me, just ask a nurse," he left the room.

My mom turned to face me, "I'll be right back."

I listened to her footsteps until there were none left. I swung my head back to stare at the ceiling, immersed in my thoughts about this reality.

'Why must my life be like this? What did I do to deserve this? Is this just the harsh reality or am I just cursed? Will I ever be able to live a normal life?'

I sighed, thinking about how it seems like I'm pitying and feeling sorry for myself. I can't help it even where there are people in this world who have it worse than me, take cancer for example. Everyone always wants what they can't have.

The door creaks open as I see my mother in the doorway, her smile wasn't reaching her red, swollen, puffy eyes. I forced a smile onto my face, as if saying I was fine. I was trying to reassure her because there was enough stress and despair weighing down on her heart. Even in my current situation, I still want to live an ordinary life like any other person without these extra concerns bringing my spirt and body down alike.

She opened her mouth to say something before she decided no to and pursed her dry lips together.

"We'll get through this together," I said as if I was answering her silent thought.

"Yeah, we will," she gave a sad smile with gratefulness.

The doctor walked in, "Sorry for interrupting, but I forgot to tell you that April may go in a week. Usually patients who have had cardiac arrest stay longer, but since yours didn't greatly affect your body, you're allowed to leave sooner."

I nod.

"Thank you for everything, Dr. Mills," my mother adds with an appreciative tone.

"I'm just doing my job," he says in a modest voice and left once again, silently closing the door behind him.

My mom turned to look at the clock, "I have to be going now. You should get some sleep."

"Okay, I love you. Bye"

"I love you too, sweetie."

I look at the window, inwardly surprised that I haven't noticed that nightfall came. I try to close my eyes, but I couldn't sleep from all the recent chaotic events. It's hard to close my eyes and imagine a life without two of my family members. Although...I wouldn't have to imagine it because I'll have to live on without them.

"Even though, you can't see him, he'll always be in our hearts."

These were the words that my father told me four years ago when my grandfather died of a stroke. He was probably the closest family I had besides my mom, dad and older brother. Once he passed, I was devastated. The words my father told me that day are still with me to this day.

Despite my dad's age, he was quite wise. I won't forget all the lessons he taught me throughout my entire life up until now. I will keep them close to my heart for the rest of my life; never forgetting them.

I tried to open my eyes, but I realize that all of a sudden my eye lids feel heavy. My body feels fatigued, but mentally, I feel awake and alert of my surroundings. No matter how tired my body feels, my mind won't let it rest.

I just laid there, not knowing how many seconds, minutes or even the number of hours that have passed. I started to wonder about how my life would be like if my dad and brother were here, what would happen if I didn't have this disease. But it's no use because it has already happened. I acknowledged it and I'm trying to accept it too, although, for some reason it's hard to accept the fact that my life will never be the same; forever changed.

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My eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the light coming through the window. I guess that I've fallen asleep before I knew it. I don't remember my consciousness drifting off, just like any other night. At least it seems like that part of me hasn't changed.

I look around, spotting seven stacked up books and a notebook on the table beside me. My mom probably put them there, one for each day. I manage to pull a slight smile on my face, my love for books is the one thing that no one can take away from me.

I grab the one on the top of the pile, it was-it is my favourite book, I've read it at least a hundred times. The adventures inside never bore me, in fact they make my imagination go even wilder, wondering what could happen and how it would affect how the rest of the story plays out.

But right now I don't feel like reading someone else's story, I want to write my story. I want to write down all the great times and hardships; I'll pour my emotions, soul - everything into my life story. It may not mean anything to some, but I hope that it will still reach the hearts of some people.

That's the moment when I reached and grabbed the notebook into my hands - my outlet; which will tell the story of my life. I scribble down jot notes about me, my birthday, age, childhood and the recent events. They all click, the flow of the story and my writing style. This should keep me busy for now. . .right?