History of Time

American Revolution

    The American Revolution was an exciting time in history. It began in 274.7.2 ZB Standard Space Time (SST) as a minor quarrel between the current Earth Nations (EN) of England and America, but quickly escalated into a small-scale war. The American Revolution's three stages, the Pinchiwa Dispute, the Area 51 Escape, and the Eyeball Eypocalypse, lasted for about 0.02.5 ZB SSTs each with a period of peace lasting 0.0.2 ZB SSTs in between.
    The first of the stages, the Pinchiwa Dispute, began as a publicized argument between England and America over which country had the best accent. This led to daily pie-eating contests and several thousand rap battles. After many long SSTs, the English won, causing increased hula-hoop sales in Europe.
    The second stage, the Area 51 Escape, was kept secret for decades due to a certain nuclear 'incident'. During this part, thousands of alien warriors escaped from a classified location into Colorado where many still reside today, mostly in caves at least 7000 feet above sea level. Although that much is still unknown about this stage of the American Revolution, new information is being unearthed each unit of SST.
    The third and final stage of the American Revolution was the Eyeball Eypocalypse. During this time period, a shortage of eyeballs on the planet Whisthenpur of the Koraish Pur Galaxy caused the entire universe to go blind for nine and a half years. This incident was not recorded by the humans due to the fact that they couldn't see the paper to write on. It is now referred to as the Dark Ages.
    This sums up the American Revolution that took place on planet Earth in 274.7.2 ZB SSTs. Other historical events that occurred around this time period were the Platypus Stampede of 275.1.9 ZB SSTs (yes, the same one that rendered paper-consuming contests illegal on Mars) and the destruction of the planet Polloa in the Llamicorn constellation. The American Revolution was an exciting time for the universe.