To Those Who Wait (In Progress)

Chapter 11 - Recovery Road

It bothered me more than it should. It bothered me seeing Mac and Tess act like I was never there, happy as ever. It bothered me seeing Van and Brenna all lovey-dovey with each other.

Why I let it get to me, I don't know. "Try to be strong", my family says. Let me be the first to say, easier said than done.

Before I knew it, it was lunch. For most people, that's the best time of the school day, but not for me. For me, lunch means sitting by myself, all the time in the word think about the betrayal and naiveness, making me feel worse and worse about myself.

Some think that I am full of self-pity and I need to get over myself, or that I am sulking just to get attention. I will admit that I am over-reacting. I'm still upset about something that a boy did to me four months ago, and me and my best friends getting in a fight. But is it really over-reacting if you can't control how you feel or how you're reminded every day of your mistakes you made?

Tess and Mac started heading my way. Weather or not that was a good or bad thing, I had no idea.

"We're really worried about you," said Mac.

"Why? There's no reason to be. I'm fine," I lie.

"No, you're not," Contessa says.

"Your nose twitched. We all know you're lying when you do that," Mackenzie accuses.

"I do not!" I argue.

"Yes, you do," Tess chimes in.

"Fine," I say. At first I was reluctant out of fear that they were going to use the information against me. After a while of talking, it felt as if it was natural and normal to be talking to Tess and Mac. They were my best friends, and they would never do anything to harm me.

Talking to them and hearing the story sounded so petty and childish I felt so stupid for letting Van get to me like that. But whether I like it or not, I was still hurt by Van. While Mac and Tess may temporarily help me, it will not repair me forever.

*****

"Can we please talk about something else other than boys, please?" I laugh, although I wasn't entirely joking. We had been talking about Shawn, the new guy Mac has been dating, and Jacob, the junior class president Tess has been growing a thing with, all day. I was happy for them, but it was like adding salt to a healing wound. I was still very hurt by what Van did to me.

"Sure. Are either of you trying out for the spring play?" asked Mac.

"I don't think I will this time. I've been really busy with my classes."

They both look at me with a stare.

"You expect me to try out for the school play? I haven't acted since that lame talent show skit we did in third grade! I highly doubt I could make the cut," I defended.

"Please?" Mac begged. "I'm on tech crew this time and I would really like some friends in the cast. Plus, Brenna's auditioning for the lead. You have to beat her!"

"All the more reason not to audition. What happens if I do get in? She hates me enough already!"

"Exactly! It's not like she could hate you more. Plus, what's the harm if you don't think you'll make it in? All I ask is that you audition. It'll help you occupy your mind," Mac begged.

I gave in and agreed to audition. Not to show Brenna off, but it would offer a distraction with this Van situation.

*****

Auditions were held that Wednesday, and who did I see auditioning for the male lead other than Wesley Hunt, Van's best friend.